The American Dream and Republican Missouruh!
A Rant about scrambled eggs and Republican Threads
I’d just sat down and raised my implements to dig into my evening meal of scrambled egg on toast when a series of unwelcome knocks at the front door forced me from the table.
I hadn’t been expecting anyone, none that I remembered, but knocks had become increasingly rampant over the weeks leading up to the local school elections to determine what candidates will make up the school board members.
Among the hot runners, one is accused of molesting an underage high school girl. Unproven. But I think is a diploma in the Republican ranks.
I opened the door, still wiping my mouth, to find a person facing me holding a pamphlet upright between his fingers and thumb, showing a picture of a man with a remarkable likeness to the same man holding the pamphlet. The man wore a red rosette on his shoulder.
I’m opening the door just after watching on TV a Republican Senator suggesting that twelve-year-old girls should be allowed to legally marry an adult.
Quote: “Do you know any kids who have been married at age 12? I do. And guess what? They’re still married,” state Sen. Mike Moon, an Ash Grove Republican, said Tuesday evening in response to questioning by state Rep. Peter Merideth, a St. Louis Democrat.” End Quote
(Read more at: https://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article274244525.html#storylink=cpy)
Back to the guy at the door. “Good evening, my name…”
“I don’t care what your name is, fuck off.”
My scrambled eggs get cold quickly, so I have a tendency to eat them fast but now I have to take my eggs to the microwave, which means they were done more than I like.
I suppose you could accuse me of being disrespectful, and even quite reckless, because Missouri politicians are within their rights to carry weapons without a background check and without a license to carry, and Missouri voted against banning children from carrying guns. Missouri does not have a minimum age to carry a gun. I kid you fucking not!
That makes no fucking sense, right? Why wouldn’t any normal parent give their six-year-old a gun? One reason might be you are not a fucking lunatic Republican asshole.
The red rosette-wearing Republican standing at my door was canvassing for his support to run for Missouri Governor. This knobhead is in favor of bills that would ban certain medical treatments for transgender minors and ban foreign ownership of farmland, among others. No kidding, and tried to redraw Missouri’s congressional map, eliminating a Democratic seat in Kansas City. Oh, wait, he wants to cut funding to libraries that make “age-inappropriate materials” available to children. Funny, his education must have been okay, or not!
But, okay, so what if I would have been more polite: I’ll try that again.
Does this work for you:
“Good evening, my name is…”
“Excuse me, can you answer this simple question? Do you like scrambled eggs cold? Nor do I, fuck off.”
Better?
Oh come on, what do you want me to do, invite him in? You’re kidding me? No?
Okay, let's do it one more time:
“Good evening sir, my name is…”
“Hey, come right the fuck in, my man,” and I ask him to join me at the table.
Then I watch him snort, gobble, chew, and struggle with deciding what to do with a fucking knife. He continues with disconcerting enthusiasm about what the future will hold for all the children saved from the fires of hell.
Naturally, no gun-toting patriot with a far-right-sided brain is going to consider a woman’s rights. Isn’t bothered about fifty years of history being taken down by a Republican-leaning Superior Court, and giving birth to life until you are born, then we are going to give you a gun and the rest is up to you, kiddo!
Forget the kids that won’t be given a chance, forced to be born, then neglected, given away, run away, distressed because they were born of rape, unwanted, or with deformities too hopeless to consider the quality of life. If you can’t carry a gun kiddo, you’re fucked!
Here’s the crack, right? They stand in front of you and tell you they do it for the privilege of serving the public.
“You come into my home, eat my fucking scrambled eggs using a knife that confuses the fuck out of you, and you want to represent your fellow Americans.”
What bloody books did these people read when they were in college?
I had the great privilege of listening to the Goons on the radio every Sunday. I’d put my education up against this book-burning, child-weaponizing, woman-hating fuck every day of the week.
Anyone not understanding why I have moved away from Missouri, and intend to live on a boat, please read a second time.
Note: My heart and soul go out to Missouri Democrats. Thank you, and good luck, truly.❤️
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