The Art of Doubting
Why is it important to question ourselves
“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves…”
-William Shakespeare
We’ve always found confidence as an attractive trait, but there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance, and that my friend is doubt.
Confident people know that they are not perfect. They actually go out of their way to advertise their flaws, and it makes them more relatable. But arrogant people think they know everything. On every subject, they have to say something (there’s a lot of them on social media nowadays, guess what, we don’t give a fuck).
I myself suffer from arrogance once in a while and from my experience the more I feel arrogant about a situation, the more I end fucking it up. But the more I doubt a situation or my abilities from the start, the more it ends up exceeding my expectations.
I am Right, You’re Wrong
In the early 1970s, Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman introduced the term cognitive bias. It is a strong, preconceived notion of someone or something, based on information we have, perceives to have, or lack. These preconceptions are mental shortcuts the human brain produces to expedite information processing — to quickly help it make sense of what it is seeing.
In layman’s terms, it’s overconfidence in a certain subject or idea regardless if it’s a fact or not, if it’s valid or not.
Ever had a friend who thinks every man is an asshole because her ex-boyfriend cheated on her? That is is cognitive bias on the works. The same with a guy who thinks every woman is a skank and only want men for their money or a teenager who thinks the world is against him because his parents divorced when he’s still a child or an old lady who thinks you’re the devil incarnate because you’ve got tattoo all over your body or you thinking you are the smartest person in the room because everybody else is from the village living at the other side of the mountain.
But why do we feel overconfident? Here are some of the reasons:
1. We treat our personal history as evidence of our personal belief
This goes with the people who have been hurt in their past and made the pain a living proof of their beliefs. This goes as well with people whose beliefs worked out for them in the past, thinking it would work all the time.
2. We think overconfident people are more popular and tend to get what they want more than everyone else
Ever had a co-worker who’s a dimwit but was still promoted instead of the people who are more qualified for the job? There are only two reasons why. Either they know somebody in the ranks or their overconfidence wins the management.
3. We are afraid to look stupid in front of people
People usually don’t want to raise questions not because they are terrified to ask. It’s because they are afraid to look stupid in front of other people. But guess what, most of the time everybody’s afraid of the same thing as you to raise their hands and ask.
4. We find it easier to be intellectually lazy than to doubt and be a skeptic
When we doubt we have to ask questions, we have to find answers, we have to think. It is definitely much easier to agree with past information we have established within ourselves as the truth. It is harder to question and think.
Remember a time when you are running late for work, but you need to get coffee? So you dashed to the nearest Starbucks to get your caffeine fix. Are you going to think about what you’re going to order and experiment? No! You go for the usual. Most people actually don’t do this even if they are not running late, hence the term “the usual”.
The Positive Side of Being Unsure
Overconfidence has bad effects not only on a person but even on a company and the society at large. We have looked into the reasons why people don’t like doubting. Now let’s look at the positive effect doubting can do on our lives:
1. We open ourselves to continuous learning
The more we learn the more we realize we don’t know anything. Doubt allows us to question our beliefs and find answers that might be better than what we already know. It allows us to progress in life and the world to innovate — doubt allowed the caveman to know the different uses of fire besides providing him heat. The day man started doubting is the day he started thinking.
2. We become relatable and inviting to other people
“When people hesitate to give feedback on an idea, draft, or performance, I ask for a 0–10 score.
No one ever says 10.
It motivates them to start coaching me — and motivates me to be coachable. I want to learn how to close the gap.”
- Psychologist Adam Grant on how to elicit feedback
Doubting allows you to be true to yourself; to be human. If people see despite your doubts you still strive to work on your passion, people would fall in line to help you.
3. We come prepared
Murphy’s Law states if something wrong is bound to happen, it will happen. How can you be prepared for adversity if you think you can never be wrong?
When the US Navy SEAL Team Six executed operation Neptune’s Spear, they didn’t just walk into Osama Bin Laden’s compound in Pakistan and walked out with him. Mission accomplished ain’t that easy. They trained, a lot. The team started preparing months before and built a replica of the compound based on the intel and satellite photos. They don’t only think of one scenario, they’ve trained in hundreds of different scenarios. They kept asking themselves what could go wrong and what will be the solution if ever it happens. What if the helicopter crashes? What if we get outmanned? What if civilians come into the site? They’ve come up with every scenario imaginable and train on it. That is how the US Navy SEALs are able to operate with precision. They doubt early so they’ll be able to foresee any problem before it happens.
4. We give improvement a shot every time we doubt
iPhone, which was supposed to be nothing but a screen, was going to need at least one button — the Home button.
Originally, Steve Jobs wanted it to have two; he felt a back button is needed for navigation. Chaudhri argued that it was all about generating trust and predictability. One button that does the same thing every time you press it: it shows you your stuff.
“Again, that came down to a trust issue,” Chaudhri says, “that people could trust the device to do what they wanted it to do. Part of the problem with other phones was the features were buried in menus, they were too complex.” A back button could complicate matters too, he told Jobs.
“I won that argument,” Chaudhri says.
And thus, history was made. If Steve Jobs never doubted himself, we wouldn’t have the iPhone as it is today.
5. The experience humbles us and allow us to know what really is important
Being wrong allows us to think twice about the answers we’re making or the path we’re taking. If something doesn’t feel right, maybe it’s time to check what it is. We’ll never know what you’ll find out unless we give doubt a chance.
If there is a healthy dose of self-doubt we may also experience an unhealthy overdose. We can doubt ourselves too much to the point of regret and anxiety. It could get into important aspects of our life like relationships and decisions. It could lead to analysis paralysis. I’m writing an article on how to deal with too much doubt if you want to learn more about it make sure to follow.
The Boy Who Would Be King
When Marcus Aurelius was told he’s chosen to be the next in line for the throne, he broke down in tears. No, it wasn’t because of joy but rather of fear, fear that he might not be able to lead Rome as its emperor. He’s second-guessing his abilities. Who is he to be the next emperor of Rome? How could he possibly live up to the expectations of everyone?
Marcus suffered what we call “the imposter syndrome”. The doubt we feel every time we are up to a task that we think we are not capable of — Am I good enough? Can I do this? Are people going to find out that I don’t have what it takes?
And yet he became one of the greatest emperors of Rome. He used his doubts to know what he needs to know, to find out what his empire needs from him, and work on giving it to his people.
Doubting can provide us power, we just have to know how to use it.
Thank you so much for reading.
