The Best of Me
I didn’t know there was another side of us
When I was still a girl, almost a teenager, I was disintegrated into thousands of pieces due to the circumstances of that time. Throughout my life, in an attempt to protect myself, I tried to compose the parts of me. It was like finding pieces of puzzles impossible to fit anywhere, something like a very rare and precious porcelain vase that breaks. Inevitably some splinter would remain almost invisible in the wind of time.
Some small parts were never found, so I thought I had survived missing something essential. I never knew if the best of me stayed with me or was lost in some fragment in the time that had passed. It consoles me to know that we are beings in eternal and permanent formation, and so, we are continually receiving traits from other people that shape us, that mark us, and that save us in some way. At that time, I saw only the visible, so, in order not to get lost at all, I kept silently repeating my name, the name of my parents and brothers, my address, my date of birth, in short, all these things that apparently make up a person, and that I was afraid to forget. I sought and clung to my earthly reference. I still couldn’t understand that I was already unique, formed, that it didn’t matter the address, the age, or the names. The rain could not erase my footprints and the wind could not carry my memories. The broken links were never really broken because of a thread of life ran between them. I didn’t know there was another side of us. I didn’t know we could see with spiritual eyes.
I just had to lose the fear of opening my hands and blowing my soul on the top of a cliff, letting it fly free on its longing for space. I just had to close my eyes and asked myself with courage: who am I? Where do I come from? Where do I go? Then, without fear of forgetting names or addresses and earthly attachments, a divine, eternal path would immediately open before my feet and I would go on confident, regardless of the ephemeral.
However, I threw myself into life searching for the lost fragments, and without knowing it, the best of me remained in that loss.