The Best School Advice
To protect your reputation as a good parent
I’ve done it all since my kids were little. For the past 18 years, I’ve been a teacher, a sub, an assistant, an Interventionist, and/or a volunteer in the school system here in the Southeast. A lot has changed in that time.
My most recent experiences were inside a public charter school in N.C. for the 2022–2023 school year.
Here are five things I learned throughout the years that continue to be pertinent for you, your child, and your reputation.
1. Don’t make the office staff mad.
They are the school gods. They know everything and everyone. They check students in and out all day and deal with angry parents, visitors, vendors, teachers, and admin. They have thick skin but don’t push them.
The office staff will form an opinion of you and your student, and you’re stuck with it for the duration. If you do make them mad, buy them donuts. Maybe they will reconsider their opinion of you and your minions.
2. Teachers want students to succeed in life, not just in school.
Trust your child’s teacher to do what’s in the best interest of the child.
Teachers are not your enemy. No one cares for students more than teachers. They care about your child’s physical and mental well-being as much as their grades.
When my oldest son was in 5th grade it was obvious he wasn’t taking school as seriously as he should’ve. His teacher contacted me to warn me that he received a C on his report card.
“I know you and your husband will be disappointed with him getting a C, but I think this is a good lesson for him. He needs to learn that he won’t be rewarded for less than his best work. I know he can do better, and so does he.”
She was absolutely right. My kid shouldn’t receive a grade he didn’t earn. Neither should yours.
3. Teachers talk.
They talk across grade levels and across districts.
If you’re always the last one to pick up your kids from school, they talk about you.
If you’re always the one bringing your kid late, they talk about you.
If you forget to sign your kid’s papers, they talk about you.
It is what it is. (Btw, I was that parent.)
Now you know.
Don’t feel too bad, though. Keep in mind that teachers have no idea what’s going on in your home.
They don’t know when you have two sick kids, a dog that died, and a parent in the hospital. They don’t know if you’re fighting depression or if your spouse just ran off with someone he/she met on Tinder.
Teachers are just doing their job trying to make sure your child is taken care of and gets a good education. Let them judge.
And let’s not pretend you don’t judge them, too, so…
4. Please teach your kids to behave and follow instructions.
Teachers have kids with specific needs, wants, attitudes, beliefs, and realities. They have to maintain order, plan and execute lessons, meet standards, grade papers, report to admin, attend meetings… And that’s all before 9 am.
Imagine doing all that while dealing with a student who just threw a chair across the room because another student told him to stop looking at her. Plus, juggling the drama of 23 other students watching that mess!
Many parents aren’t able to make their own two kids behave, let alone an entire classroom full of kids. How are teachers expected to do it?
Teach your kids to behave and follow instructions. Please!
5. Homework is a philosophical debate. Follow your child’s teacher’s lead.
Some parents hate homework.
First, they don’t really understand the way teachers are instructing because of the Common Core curriculum. That’s totally legitimate. Common Core is crazy, although I have to admit it works.
Parents also hate homework because it keeps their kids from playing. Many teachers feel the same way, so they don’t give homework. Albeit, because if they give it, they have to grade it, but that’s not the point.
Teachers don’t want to keep your kids from playing. Actually, they probably want them to play lots at home so they’ll be able to focus more when they’re at school.
On the flip side, when teachers don’t give homework, parents have no idea what their children are learning.
Parents, you need to know what’s going on in your kid’s class. That’s just the way it is.
Plus, the entire rationale behind homework is that the student puts their knowledge into practice. They learned a lesson in class, they practiced in class, and finally, they practice at home. It’s one more time the student activates what they learned, reinforcing the lesson.
It’s important for kids to play. But it’s also important for kids to practice their newly learned skills.
Look at it this way: if your kid plays basketball, does she only practice during organized games? I hope not. I hope she practices dribbling, shooting, blocking, and sprinting at home. Otherwise, she’s going to be a mediocre player at best.
Practice makes progress. Perfection isn’t the goal. Progress is the goal!
If your child’s teacher doesn’t give homework, request ideas for practicing their school skills at home. Teachers are more than happy to facilitate.
