ILLUMINATION
Published in

ILLUMINATION

The Breastaurant is Not a Threat

Yes, he tells me and invites me. Confidence is key.

Image belongs to twinpeaks.com
Image belongs to twinpeaks.com

It all started with the infamous HOOTERS chain. The bright tiny orange shorts and the tight white tank tops with the logo printed across the chest of each lady. Eyes up gentlemen the women would prefer you to look them in the eyes while they take your order. Um, yeah not really. This was probably one of the best marketing techniques for men by men. Men know what men like, haven’t we been saying the same thing for years, ladies? Women know what women like. It is pretty easy to find a “breastaurant” anything from Bikinis, Bombshells, and of course Twin Peaks. So if a man can walk down the street and easily come across a woman wearing a form-fitting dress bearing her breasts and showing a little cheek on a night on the town, why are women so opposed to men dining at these restaurants?

I have heard many of my girlfriends make the crazy statement of “my man does not like those places” or “oh hell no he better not go to that restaurant”. My younger self would have agreed with both of those statements. The reality hit me later in life as a married woman. These restaurants are no different than my husband going out with a couple of his buddies golfing or bowling. The temptation is all around, and yes ladies that means for you too. Just because the hot firefighter is considered a reputable job on the market, you gawking over his tight pants and bulging biceps is no different. Thanks to Majic Mike we all have a good vision of what is under that uniform.

What I learned working at a bar.

I have not always had this mindset. In my early twenties, I would side-eye the girls who served food with their body parts bulging from the crevices of their clothes. Often judging their work choice without even knowing who they are as a person. Then I took a night job at a bar and made the best girlfriends who were quite wholesome and trying to make a living as single women paying their way through school. I was now receiving side-eyes even though my work attire involved a pair of jeans and a halter top only covering what my grandmother likes to call “the girls”.

It was the best time of my life and my season of living in the moment. Starting off as a shy girl hiding behind the beer tub, to full dance routines on top of a bar, and traveling where I would get to perform with country music stars. I owe my confidence from working late nights three days a week at a bar with other women who understood me and uplifted one another.

Don’t criticize something you know nothing about. -Laura Hall

It was easy to look at women who dressed baring all in a restaurant environment as a threat. Often trying to find flaws in their physical appearance. There was no reasoning other than feeling insecure with myself. I was afraid these more attractive, in-shape, extroverted ladies were a temptation for my man to cheat.

The reality is a confident woman is often seen as a threat to other women. Confidence radiates positivity and that is what most emotionally healthy men are attracted to. The amazing body is just the whip cream and cherry on top.

What I learned from being married.

My husband has never shied away from turning his head at a physically attractive woman. At the beginning of us dating, he told me:

“I will never cheat on you, if I want to sleep with another woman I will tell you and just break up with you.”

At the time, I did not value those words because all I worried about was the “other women” who could seduce my partner into wanting to leave me. In doing this I was making myself more unattractive because of my lack of confidence. Even though I had been at the prime of my twenty-something-year-old body it only took one moment for me to lose my sense of self.

After my first child and many sessions with a counselor, I learned more about who I was as a person and was reminded of my most amazing qualities. The list on paper is daunting yet I had to believe it for myself.

There is always going to be a more attractive, vibrant, sexy, confident woman in the same room as myself. She will most likely get the attention of my husband, especially if her body parts are protruding through her clothes.

What I learned is most of the time I agree with my husband. The other woman has amazing physical features and I would love to look like her.

But I never will.

I am unique and my physical features are a gift. I can spend money to alter my physical appearance but being confident in who I am on the inside will take me further in my relationship with my husband over time. I have learned what I am and what I am not. Just like I enjoy a man flirting with me to remind me I am beautiful. My husband enjoys having a woman smile back to remind him he is attractive. Scientists have proven flirting between two people releases dopamine, which is associated with the feeling of happiness.

As a married couple, we understand having open communication about our needs is important. This includes setting boundaries and having respect for the other person whether the other is present or not.

Honesty is at the center of our trips to Twin Peaks of Hooters, two of our most favorite places to get wings or good appetizers. We agree temptation is no different from going to a day job or walking into a “breastaurant”.

At the end of the day, I am a confident woman and my husband likes having me around. He does not have to lie to me about having lunch with the guys at a breastaurant and because of this he often asks me to join.

Thank you for your time I hope you have enjoyed my journey of rebuilding self-confidence.

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Carrie Tawil

Carrie Tawil

Writer of life journeys, parenting, relationships, and growth. A mom and partner to someone who keeps me on my toes. Listen.learn.grow http://wix.to/FcB4CyU

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