The curse of making a choice
I am taking a four-month break from medium.com
With a heavy heart,
and with a sobbing mind,
(Yes! I am crying in my mind right now)
I am announcing a four-month leave from this special place and community.
“So? why are you telling this to us? don’t you have something productive to write about? we’re not here to read this bullshit!”
The majority of you might say, and would then leave this story right away in search of that “productive” story.
Fair enough! you don’t owe me anything.
“Oh, but why?” A few of you might wonder and would stick around to see the reason for me taking a leave, and then sleep peacefully afterward.
After all, you now know why am I taking a leave.
One of you might slip into my dm and say,
“I will miss your stories Erum, it would be nice if you gave a second thought to your decision?”
(if I were good enough of a writer to touch a single soul from my writeups)
I wish I get one such message!
To all of you my 1700+ medium fam, I am taking a leave because life has come my way.
We plan one thing, and then, out of nowhere, shit happens, and then we have to cater to that shit and then we plan again and shit happens again, and … you know what I mean.
I have an exam due in February, for which I have to do some hard preparations.
Whether I will be able to crack that exam or not, I can’t say with certainty,
but I can’t take a chance on failure as the regret would eat me away if I did so…
THE CURSE OF CHOOSING OUT OF MILLIONS OF DIFFERENT CHOICES!
I am worried about my stats, and all of the progress that I have made in the past three months…
— What will happen to my now exponentially growing follower counts and daily views?
— My dream of reaching 10k followers by the end of this year, which nowadays seems within reach, will it be materialized?
— Or the four-month break would prove to be a death knell to my growing viewership?
— How further do I have to wait to make my initial $1000?
— What if I failed the exam and my writing growth becomes stagnant, then I will have to restart everything from scratch again…
And most of all,
I am worried about the fact that people might forget me, or I might not be able to get back on this platform.
You know that feeling when you take a break from something and then you forget about it and then it takes a lifetime to resume that activity again…
I fear that my writing career might have a similar fate...
I am so confused,
why do we even have to face the burden of making a decision?
let’s ask for help from mother nature,
let’s manifest a good future and good stats,
let’s hope that when I resume on this platform after four months I will have 10k followers and thousands of daily views and fans,
let’s pray that this story has gone viral and whosoever reads this story would come into a mysterious trance that led him/her to follow me, and miss me…
let’s say…. wait what?
What am I writing !?
Am I going crazy…!!!
SHIT IS HAPPENING…
PLEASE LIFE NO!!!
Thank you for reading!
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