The Expat’s Journey — How Is It Like To Finally Be Back Home?
Common hardships faced by a foreigner on returning to native land.
“Home is where the heart is’’ -Pliny The Elder
Having been born and raised in the United Arab Emirates, I experienced living on an island — an epitome of security and regulation. I had a good lifestyle, a great social circle, and a place I called home. The sandhills, date palms, and beach waves were part of my existence.
Moving abroad is a notion glamorized by people worldwide. The life of a foreigner is a tale of unspoken struggles and unnoticed efforts.
My family decided to move to the native country in 2013. It was a difficult decision — one that the majority of expatriates experience at some point in life. Shifting permanently to a state is not backbreaking itself, but the events that follow do need some extra courage.
The Last Good-Bye
While packing your luggage, expect it to be a little heavier than actual. Loaded with all the memories that you are going to carry along. One who has been through something similar can relate to how it feels.
The last goodbye to every little thing that had been a part of my life was the hardest ever.
Before leaving, the last few days were spent attending farewell family gatherings and going through emotional distress episodes. Sorting and winding up stuff was the highlight of those days.
When the day of departure arrived, I just wanted to feel numb. Oversensitive individuals like me don’t get the exemption. I had to endure the process.
The route to the airport was exceptionally long and hard to cover that day. It revived all the memories I had made.
I boarded the plane with a heavy heart and a mind full of fears and uncertainties of the future. I had no clue if I would ever be able to visit again. It was going to prove one life-changing flight.
Existential Crisis
An expat is not granted nationality easily. You live under the title of a foreigner, highlighting you to be the odd one out. Some countries don’t even have such a policy for granting citizenship. Regardless of substantial efforts, you don’t get treated like the local citizens.
On returning to your home country, you don’t immediately fit in. This makes you question your existence. You can lose your identity in the process.
After I landed at my destination, I was welcomed by the strange faces. I had no affiliation with them. I couldn’t relate to the streets. It had never been my home. I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. I felt uprooted.
Sarah Turnbull explains it well:
“It is a bitter-sweet thing, knowing two cultures. Once you leave your birthplace nothing is ever the same.”
It’s easy to fall deep into those thoughts. This feeling persisted until I tried to adjust to the change and accept the reality.
Building a Nest — A Place You Can Call Yours
While living abroad, you experience traveling on a ticking bomb journey. Your situation can turn upside down at any moment. You may have to leave most of your possessions behind — no matter how dear. These insecurities and uncertainties are embedded inside by default.
Adding to the misery, the struggles double if you don’t own a house in your native homeland. On arrival, we had to start from scratch. I was mentally prepared to face anything — little did I know what was about to come our way.
This ordeal revealed bitter realities. It taught big lessons and aided me in transformation. I realized the significance of a structure based upon understanding, respect, and care.
We endured for around two years to sort the spot and then shape our little abode. It was a big hassle. It took another two years to settle and adjust to the new space. Reflecting upon the venture always makes me appreciate every little thing in life.
If you can make an investment during your stay abroad, it is always wise to have a backup in your home country. In this case, you don’t have to start over. You never know what tomorrow is going to bring.
Long-Distance Friendships
“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”-Tennessee Williams
Living as a foreigner, you make friends knowing that you will not stay together forever. You may be living poles apart in life.
Some of my friends and I were together for years. I had a different bonding with each one of them. We shared most fun times and made unforgettable memories.
While leaving, it was the hardest to comprehend that I might not meet them again.
We are on different tracks today. Our conversations are occasional. But we are there for each other in times of need. Genuine efforts along the journey helped us stay in contact. Despite the distance, the bond seems to grow ever since.
Connecting the Dots
When you shift to a new place, you are exposed to an entirely different crowd. You need to interact with them. Meeting new people can be exciting for some but intimidating for an introvert like me.
As a kid, I was outgoing and loved socializing. I was outspoken, approachable and full of life.
During my teenage years, I grew different. I became reserved. I started living in a shell. I was no more a part of those big cool groups. Perhaps, I was not their type.
I had a small circle of visibly genuine people.
It had been difficult for me to initiate a conversation for years. Regardless, I never tried to change myself.
On returning to my native country, I realized that living in a quiet zone was not an option anymore. I committed to change. I gradually started challenging myself by instigating discussions with my new peers.
When you relocate, you get a chance to explore new places and meet different people. This can be a challenging experience for introverts.
It can be rectified by taking tiny steps gradually. Figure out and observe your targets. Interact just as much as needed in the beginning. Everything settles down with time.
Money Matters
Finance management is significant in all domains. Every country has a standard currency unit for monetary dealings.
It is essential to get accustomed to currency handling earlier in the process.
I have always been vigilant in cash management and dealing. The change of currency challenged my computational abilities. I have been attempting to improve ever since.
I remember my visit to an outlet some time ago when I landed myself in an embarrassing state. After spending a good time collecting the total and displeasing the other customers waiting, I handed over the amount to the cashier. Further worsening the situation, I couldn’t figure out the cash received in return. Without any extra interrogation, I left the shop with my product.
To date, I stumble handling those large denominations while making day-to-day transactions. I am mostly confused at cash counters trying to figure out the calculations.
I haven’t been able to master this skill yet. To avoid embarrassing incidents, I try to set aside the expected amount.
Cope with the Cultural Differences
Different regions have various customs and traditions. Generally, one is well-aware of the regional practices prevalent for ages.
During my stay in UAE, I frequently interacted with people from my community. It made me somewhat familiar with a combination of rituals.
I also got a chance to meet individuals from diverse ethnicities and backgrounds. It had been great learning about different customs and practices. Living a simple life in a multi-cultural community is what I recall today.
I first visited my native country on a short trip when I was six. I got introduced to the extended family. We managed three other visits during the stay abroad.
I never developed strong bonding with people back home until I returned for a permanent residency. Mingling with peers and interacting with contacts helped me understand the norms.
I found people religiously following the customs and traditions. Keeping up with the latest trends and maintaining the status quo is the majority’s concern. Prioritizing classes, castes, color, and creed is a common notion.
I have never been a blind follower of such societal standards. I don’t hold rigid opinions, so I prefer a moderate approach.
Communication Barriers
Language is the primary mode of communication. The inability to speak or understand the native language can become an obstacle.
The credit goes to my mother. She worked very hard to build my native literary skills by managing lessons along with her chores. It did not become a barrier as I had a good command of the language.
She always encouraged speaking the native language. The mode of communication had been our native language at home.
Live Through Nostalgia
The places you visit, the people you meet, and the experiences you recollect — have an impact on you. It becomes a part of your personalized story.
Expatriates develop a different level of attachment and association with their past. They reminisce about their days spent in a foreign land. This trip down memory lane is frequent in the initial years and occasional with time.
The first few years after arrival were the toughest. The surroundings, inhabitants, institutions, everything was unfamiliar for me. There was so much to adapt and accommodate in all spheres of my life.
I longed to visit those streets that were once home. The images of the landmarks are still vividly detailed in my mind. I desired to see my friends just like in the old times.
While living in UAE, I relished satisfying my sweet tooth with delectable treats. Once you develop the tastebuds, nothing below the standard is up to the mark. With limited to no good options available in my homeland, I got disappointed. I craved the odd combination of foods and those childhood favorite snacks.
There was a huge difference between the two countries. I always compared stuff that made the process worse and created obstacles.
Concluding Thoughts
Eight years back, nothing made sense to me. I wanted to run back to the place I had always considered my home. I had no idea if the phase I was going through would ever end.
The struggle was tiring — the journey was long. But I didn’t lose hope. Walking through the maze with no evident clues, I created my path. I learned to conform to the new code of life through acceptance.
When life throws challenges at you, the only solution is to face them. Transition can be emotionally and physically draining in the beginning but beautiful when embraced. When I welcomed change and committed to myself, that is when I recognized the warrior inside.
