The Father I Want To Be For My Transgender Child
I had my own transition to deal with after she told me about hers.
It was three days before Christmas when my twenty-year-old son came out to me as a transgender woman. I was in the bedroom wrapping a gift. He came in and stood against the wall across from me while I was trying to cut wrapping paper.
Luckily, I don’t tend to be an overly reactive person, something that has manifested from a lifetime of relationships requiring eggshell walking. I said “okay” a lot. I tried to make it clear that I accepted her. I sought to communicate that my love for my child had not changed.
Everything I said was true, but I knew I needed space to do my own processing. My own transition had started.
I know the type of father I want to be, regardless of my child’s identity; loving and supportive, aware and sensitive. I want to see where I need to step forward and where I need to step back. Playing the “long game” with our relationship, focusing on the health and well-being of my daughter as played out across our lifetimes.
My mom was great at modeling this behavior for me. She let me make my own mistakes but has always been there with her love and support.
