Member-only story
The ‘Give and take’ in relationships does not mean you give and they take…
Break the cycle of ending up in lopsided relationships
When giving has become pathological…
The case of ‘Gina’
‘Gina’ came to see me (for therapy) when she was in her late 30s. As a highly empathetic, successful and very driven lady, she could not understand why despite considering herself a ‘catch’, she could not seem to get her romantic relationships to work in a balanced manner beyond the first couple of months.
There was a very definite pattern to her relationships. It went as follows:
She would meet a guy. He would be really into her and pull out all the stops to get her on the hook. Once she started to take a more serious interest, it was as though rest mode set in for her newfound date.
Having been so keen and shown a clear interest, the power balance in the relationship would at this point start shifting. The initial energy and enthusiasm would be traded for lacklustre efforts and at times a complete lack of initiation. On some occasions, she had come to wonder if the other person had undergone a personality transplant.
Upon exploring her own behaviour patterns in therapy we were able to establish…
