SUMMERTIME MEMORIES/HIGHLIGHTS
The Highlight of Summer Has Always Been Our Birthdays
My family and partner all have birthdays in the summer
I’ve made it no secret in the past that summer is my least favorite season of the year. It is too hot outside for me to enjoy even sitting outside for too long, unless I’m in the shade. Even then, it gets too hot after a while. Add to that, the bugs that love to hang out in the summer, along with my skin condition, and it makes summer nearly unbearable.
The one thing I always look forward to or at least think about when summer rolls around is that everyone in my immediate family and my partner all celebrate our birthdays in the warmer months.
First, it’s my sister’s birthday in June. Technically, her birthday falls outside of the actual season of summer but is still within meteorological summer as it is on June 14. I don’t have much of a relationship with my sister right now but I wish that I could. She is my baby sister and turned 40 years old this year. I didn’t get a chance to wish her a happy birthday.
Then my dad’s birthday is in July. His birthday is July 15. He’s 66 years old now. I haven’t had a relationship with him in a few years and it’s a very fragile and complicated situation. It’s painful sometimes to think about him and to think about all that’s happened between us.
As of this writing, his birthday was yesterday and it was hard to think about the fact that it’s been years since we talked and that he is now another year older and closer to death. He was diagnosed with some chronic illnesses and has been dealing with many of them for decades now. I know he’s not long for this world. It’s a thought that both makes me sad but also makes me think about how his stubbornness in shutting me out makes me hardened to this fact as well.
Today is my partner’s birthday, July 16. He is 36 years old now. This is one of the few birthdays I actually really look forward to outside of my own. I always like to make sure I do something special at least once on this day every year. The weather is usually disgusting around this time of year given that it’s the hottest part of the year around his birthday every year. We are celebrating by staying inside as the previously hot and humid weather had been accompanied by thunderstorms and rain on Monday with more to come later today. We got all we needed from the store for his birthday beforehand as I grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a roast for him. We are not planning on doing anything outdoors for this.
Next will come my birthday as I turn 42 this year. That birthday is on August 1st and will fall in the same month as my third year of writing on Medium. I want to celebrate my birthday pretty much the same way I celebrate my partner’s every year minus the drinking. I don’t drink much but I would love a roast, a pizza, or a cake. Maybe all three. I don't want to make a huge deal about the age I’m turning this year but if you’ve watched the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, you’ll know why that number is significant.
My mom’s birthday is shortly after that on the 7th of August. I’m closest with her out of my immediate family. I call her often. She’s in her 70s. She doesn’t usually do much for her birthday. I haven’t spent a birthday with her in eight years but I do try to get a call in for that day. Sometimes, she gets to go to the casino with her companion. I remember going to casino with her frequently on her birthday in the past. That was kind of the highlights of that every year for her birthday. She’s our casino-loving mom and I have always enjoyed but tried to hold back on gambling too much.
My brother’s birthday rounds out the summer birthdays on August 20th as he will be 38 years old this year. This wasn’t a great year for him as he got into a serious car accident earlier in the year. He’s okay but it’s been tough for him. I’m pretty close with him too and we all used to have a combined birthday in August when we didn’t have a lot of money. I remember that he made a big deal out of not getting his own party some years but I tried to make him feel special regardless. He was the youngest sibling after all and the one we all looked to help through the tough times when we needed to. He also had my back all the time as I was a huge nerd in school and not the strongest of big brothers.
The memories I have over the last decade of celebrating all of these birthdays at least once have made them all respectively the highlights of my summer, even with the family members I don’t associate much with anymore in the last few years. Thinking about each one of us all turning a year older every year in my least favorite season of the year makes me at least thankful that there’s one thing to look forward to when the weather gets warmer.
I certainly enjoyed all of these days, even outside of the birthdays much more when I was younger. I could handle the heat better and was able to be a lot more physically active in the summer, loving to play basketball, football, baseball, and soccer. With each passing year in summer even with these birthdays being a slight highlight for us to look forward to, I still dread the summer and celebrating the subsequent birthdays more and more.
At least at this point, I’m grateful that all of my family are still around for now. I do think about my parents’ mortality as they are the oldest and with my dad so close to possibly passing. My mom isn’t getting any younger either even though I’m certain she’ll outlive us all. My brother’s car accident made me petrified at how mortal he seems to be now and he’s younger than me. It makes me reflect on how precious life is. Despite my disdain for summer, it is a reminder of our mortality and a celebration of life and another year on this earth. We never know how many more we get and we should enjoy them all, even if the days you get to enjoy them in are uncomfortable and painful for you.
