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The Interpersonal Power of Mindfulness
And How it Can Improve Your Relationships
Over the past several years, we’ve heard a lot about mindfulness. Everyone from mental health professionals to corporate leaders and wellness gurus has mentioned its benefits. Many have found mindfulness practice to be an effective tool for handling stress, dealing with anxiety, and being more productive.
What exactly is mindfulness? Most people understand it as a form of meditation but it goes deeper than that. In its simplest form, mindfulness is being aware and present in the current moment. Whether you are dealing with mental, emotional, or physical stress, you are invited to simply “sit with” whatever is happening without making any effort to suppress or indulge it.
In addition to stress or pain, mindfulness is an invaluable tool when it comes to relationships. Whether it be your spouse, co-workers, or family, the success of these relationships is built on an important foundation — communication.
When it comes to communication, not all forms of it are created equal. Arguing, defensiveness, and passive-aggressive behaviors are, unfortunately, frequently used styles of communication. When we resort to those methods, we are demonstrating a lack of awareness and self-control. Although it can be cathartic in the given moment, these methods have lasting consequences.
Practicing mindfulness is especially powerful when it comes to intimate relationships. Whatever you are experiencing with a lover or spouse, taking a moment to pause can mitigate the negative consequences when dealing with difficult emotions or situations.
When I was first learning mindfulness, I was told that it teaches you how to respond instead of react. You become a detached observer of your thoughts, you let them be what it is without trying to suppress them or fall prey to giving in to them.
Upon experiencing anything negative or uncomfortable, our initial impulse is to try and make it go away. Despite our best efforts, avoidance gives these thoughts and sensations more power. By taking the time to simply be with them, experience them, and release judgment, you take their power away.
Simple awareness and observation allow these thoughts and feelings simply come and go. It’s like watching floats pass by during a parade. And when they do? You notice that those feelings and sensations have passed and you arrive safely at the other side. The control they had before subsides. You then find yourself in a more calm and more peaceful state, which benefits both you and those closest to you.
By practicing mindfulness in your relationships, you allow yourself to communicate in a way that is more thoughtful and empowering, creating more peace for both you and your loved ones. When you open the door to mindfulness, you open the door to greater understanding and growth. By achieving greater equilibrium both internally and externally, you foster an environment where your relationship can evolve and reach a higher level. So why not take a moment?
