The lessons I learned from miss-behaving my love interests
I always considered myself a good pal.
I still am I believe; However, there were some scratches on my innocence wall during the last couple of years.
Where shall I start? Let’s take it from day 0.
I was hurt. Extremely. Hurt from an unrequited love I experienced during a friendship that took a different turn; the wrong turn. But despite the actual, expected pain that rejection caused me, I got hurt and extremely suffocated from the pressure I put myself into to un-feel. To sweep my feelings under the carpet. And this was not a couple of months fling. This process or better say this struggle, was running for more than a year in the background of my head and heart. It was love at that time, probably one of the most and on the opposite of what Clark Gable manifested at the end of Gone with the wind:
I did give a damn...
So how did I cope with these unrequited feelings which were arguably the strongest I’ve felt for anyone?
From that time on, which already counts 2.5 years already, I haven’t allowed myself to love. But at first, I had more serious things to encounter; I had to pull my shit together, meaning the basics like start eating, drinking water, get dressed with something else than my sneakers and 10 years old sportswear, and finding the…
