The Letter That Matters #3 — to my Power
Dear Power,
Today, you actually helped me face my fear. You helped me face a feeling I used to always run away from: disappointment. I am the kind of person who can easily be disappointed by someone or something, especially when I’ve put my trust in a relationship or in a situation.
A week ago, a new neighbour moved into the flat next to mine. It seems like he already knew most of my neighbours, because five of them gathered into his flat, already on his first night living amongst us. That night was absolute hell. It actually started in the afternoon. They started partying at 3pm.
You have to understand, Dear Power, that I recently realized that my neighbours are all alcoholics. I’ve seen them with drinks, I know it. And on top of it, when they drink too much, they start talking badly, vulgarly, offensively. I’ve already heard racist and homophobic comments from them in my presence. What is so insidious, is the fact that they all have two sides to their personality. A very kind one in which they are helpful and gentle. And then there is that other side, which shows everything I despise in human beings. I actually grew up with someone in my family who is a combination of all of my neighbours, so I know exactly what I’m talking about.
To make a long story not short, but shorter, I had to put up with four nights in a row of extremely loud partying in the flat next to mine. On the second night, I rang the bell and asked them to shut up. You see, Dear Power, the other thing about my home sweet home, is that my bedroom shares walls with my neighbour’s lounge. So I could literally hear all of them drinking and screaming their heads off as if they were in my home and not in the next flat. A nightmare. A real nightmare. Four nights without sleep, with stomach aches, fear, rage and anger.
It enraged me so much that I considered leaving my flat. I moved into this new flat only a couple of months ago, at the end of January. I moved to the Swiss Riviera, one of the most beautiful regions in the world, because I wanted to find peace, my quiet, enjoy a new chapter in my life and feel at home in my own home.
I absolutely love my flat, I also love the way I did my interior design and how this entire space makes me feel whenever I come home after work. I really, really love it, more than I’ve loved any of the flats I’ve had so far. And I’ve had many. It is by the lakeside, I can see the water from all of my windows. It’s charming, it’s cosy, it’s perfect.
Can you believe, Dear Power, that I actually considered leaving this home? I considered running away from this beautiful place, just because I didn’t want to face my fear. A fear of having to confront an issue that I thought would be unbearable. A fear of having to fight for something I deserve. I believed I was too exhausted for yet another fight. I mean, come on, I’m not the problem, they are. I’m not the one making noises, they are. And I’m definitely not the one making offensive comments they are. So why the hell should I be the one who leaves? Furthermore, I’m paying my rent each month, just like everyone else. I deserve my home and I deserve to stay in it.
And suddenly it hit me. I started feeling you, Dear Power. I started replacing my fear with you. I called the rental agency, asked them for an urgent appointment. Today, two days after my call, I had a meeting with them, during which I explained the entire situation, calmly, confidently and firmly. The manager listened to me, respected me, and agreed with me. He will contact the owner of the building and convince him to add extra-thick insulation to the walls so that I can have peace and quiet again. He would also make sure that the new neighbour follows the rules of no noise after 10pm, as it is the law in Switzerland.
The manager promised to do all of that immediately. After he finished speaking, I answered him by saying this: if he doesn’t get what I need, within the next seven days, I would be calling the police on my neighbour, every single night. And I added that I would go all the way to court with the property owner if need be, because I know I would win. I would also call the press, an area in which I actually work, and ensure my story would be heard. Basically, my message was crystal clear: Do. Not. Mess. With. Me.
I left the meeting feeling like I was over the moon, both proud of myself and boasting with confidence. Not the arrogant kind of confidence, of course, the understated inner self kind. The kind that fills your soul, your head and your mind, all at the same time.
Thank you so much for reaching me and staying with me today, Dear Power.
You’ve always been a part of me, ever since I was born. I have already needed you so much during my life so far. And I’ve definitely used a lot of what you are for everything I’ve had to deal with until now. But I’ve never used you this specific way. I will try to use you every day from now on. Wait a minute, my bad, I need to take the word “try” out of this sentence. I WILL USE YOU, MY POWER, every day from now on.
Yours truly,
Jacqueline
