The Liberating Art of the Pivot
How to know when it’s time for you to switch gears
A faint aroma of frankincense wafts through the air, enticing me to relax but I refuse.
How can I relax when I’m getting advice from bachelor bros like “It’s player vs. player out there. Someone else is working hard when you want to sleep in, so you gotta get out there and grind.”
This is exactly the kind of anxiety I have been training myself out of.
The feeling that I missed the boat.
That somehow between waking up at 6 every morning, walking my kids to school, meditating, working 8–4, spending time with my kids until they go to sleep, studying and taking tests until 8 pm, and then deciding between exercise and writing- I am not doing enough.
When I catch this overwhelming fear, I remind myself of how I felt when I worked 60 hours a week at a mortgage refinancing company.
I consumed too much caffeine, took the max dosage of Wellbutrin (Adderall’s little sister), didn’t eat enough, and feared driving due to severe dizziness.
I worked so hard to prove that I was worth something. That I could “make it”. Perhaps I wasn’t destined for a boring life making just above minimum wage.
It nearly killed me, and I took three weeks off between that job and my current position to recover.
The time off was a blessing in disguise. I gardened and I stressed, but never at the same time.
Those three weeks passed too quickly, and before I knew it, I started training at my new job doing customer service for a telehealth company and began my first classes after a 10-year hiatus from college.
You see, I had a plan to finish my degree in Psychology and obtain my certificate in Human Resources Management.
I envisioned myself assuming the role of Mother Hen to the other employees of the company, sheltering them from their unethical bosses and tossing them benefits and support.
Structural changes in the startup I work for highlighted that HR doesn’t serve the interests of the employees, it does quite the opposite.
I scrapped the idea of HR Management and decided to go to grad school to study counseling to become a psychedelic-assisted therapist.
After an enlightening ayahuasca retreat, I connected with people who were skipping the 4–6 years of grad school hell and going straight into a more streamlined version of my goal- psychedelic integration coaching.
The recommended program is only 6 months long, and graduates typically work for companies like Mindbloom right out of the gate.
The point is, I always scheme and identify the most efficient way to go about my goals.
If I run into walls over and over again, I assume the path isn’t for me, because it took me a year of destroying my health in the mortgage industry to find out the hard way.
Knowing when to pivot is a skill that most people learn the hard way, but it’s unnecessary to go through additional pain.
Why don’t we pivot?
- We have invested too much time into our current circumstance
- We hold onto the hope that our big break is right around the corner if only we push ourselves just a bit harder
- Other people might think we are flighty and uncommitted if we jump ship too soon
Ahhh…other people.
Many of you reading this are likely recovering people-pleasers, even if you don’t know it yet.
It takes every ounce of my being not to worry about what other people think. I tense up and become self-conscious even when crossing paths with a random neighbor.
Do I have resting bitch face? Was my voice too low when I greeted them? Do they think I’m rude as fuck?
We often assume that other people know better than us. Somehow, they have it together, and we don’t.
We compare ourselves endlessly to people whose lives look nothing like ours, even if we share similar goals and interests.
Have you been on Twitter lately? Everyone is a 6-figure solopreneur who has it ALL figured out.
Do you know anything about them? Do their messages make you feel invigorated or defeated?
If only you would take an ice bath at 4 am before CRUSHING YOUR DAY, you could be the next Elon Musk.
Take it from me, you will be the opposite of productive if you burn yourself out.
Your body is your barometer. Trust it when it tells you that it needs to rest.
Signs that you need to consider pivoting:
- You have tried every possible strategy and keep running into opposition
- Your “community” feels cold and exclusive
- Your ROI is negative
- You haven’t advanced at all and it’s been at least a year
- You fall ill more than once a quarter
If something is not working for you, this is your permission to let it go.
Most importantly, if you are absolutely miserable following everyone else’s advice to make it big by sacrificing your sanity, this is your sign to explore other options.
Grinding isn’t the antidote to failure, nor is it guaranteed to produce results.
I imagine a fly slamming its body into a screen over and over again until it dies, while if it would only buzz a little bit to the gaping hole to the right, it might escape to freedom.
You don’t need to “work harder”, you just need to pivot.
To keep up with the journey of a recovering people-pleaser turned expansion catalyst, follow me on Twitter.
