The Lost Art of Finding Joy In The Corners of Your Life
I have been thinking ‘what to write my next article on?’
Not that I don’t have ideas or I lack content to talk about. Oh, the sad news is, no one likes to read articles on ‘joy’ and ‘easy happiness’ on the internet when there are articles and quotes on ‘productivity, motivation, popular books, and the like.’
I have been finding it difficult to cope with the massive shift in how the internet has changed how we experience things in our lives and most importantly what we choose to experience.
Why?
Look around you, everyone is reading the same popular books with no research of their own. Everyone is reading articles on how to make money and how to be productive. Everyone is watching those YouTube videos on how to change your life in six months.
And to be honest, I am not only fed up with this type of content but I don’t see myself competing against it. I even stopped writing completely on the internet for a while because I felt I was talking to a wall. A wall that is made of everything that’s trending and hot on the internet. On one side, I stand, and on the other side, people who might be willing to read the simple things I write about life.
For a long time, I thought I had to punch this wall until it collapsed and I could reunite with my hobbies that I used to find joyful, and then very easily, I could go back to writing about the same and well, my readers would be standing right there for me.
But that didn’t happen. If anything, the wall seemed to grow bigger and stronger and I felt smaller and ‘not-so-useful’ any longer.
Until….I realized, there is no wall in reality. There is an illusion of the wall created by the internet.
Just like a wall is built with one brick placed on top of another, similarly, the illusion of this wall is built on ‘what we should have, what we should be doing, what we should look like, what we should have achieved.’ One illusion is placed perfectly on top of another.
On one side, you are standing. On the other side, there is a life that is simple, easy, and full of joy. But there is a wall in between that makes you believe — you cannot have fun and happiness in life if you don’t have what the bricks on the wall represent — a trip with your gang, a success story, a new version of yourself that is more powerful than what you are, a lot more money to buy things that will transform you, and of course, a passion which ignites your soul.
No matter what anyone says, we all want to be happy. We all want to experience life at its best.
And how can we do it?
Well, there are many ways. But we are made to believe there is only one way — if you have what the wall represents. So, we keep doing what we see on the internet, whether it’s reading a book that everyone is reading, going to a place, adopting a certain dressing sense, or speaking in a certain way.
It’s the illusion that we keep chasing in the hope that one day, the wall will collapse and we will be able to experience real joy and fun in life.
But that doesn’t happen, does it?
In fact, the more you try to blend in, the smaller you feel, the bigger the wall grows.
I have been there. I tried to break the wall. And I also tried to become a person who is like everyone. The pressure felt even heavier on me because I was trying to speak and write on topics that other ‘famous’ people in the industry are. But in the end, I only lost sight of who I was and the distance seemed to grow between what I wanted and what I was chasing after.
So, what did I do?
Practicing The Art of Finding Joy:
Do you do anything in your day-to-day life just for the pure fun of it?
I took a long break from social media and realized, ‘Hey, I have a lot of time in my life. What should I do with it?’
But before that, something strange happened. I felt curious. Curious about what I wanted to do in my day-to-day life. I felt a longing to read the kind of books that were once a source of joy to me. I also reflected on the time I used to draw when I was still in high school. I found myself thinking about the ideas I was once excited to execute.
What happened to all of it?
What happened to all of us who wanted to enjoy life as an adult but somehow, always ended up hating life?
Anyway, I decided what I want is — joy and it’s definitely not available online on other people’s feeds. So, I began to follow my curiosity and it always led me to do things that felt like a bubble of happiness bursting in my heart.
For example: For a very long time, I was in a reading slump. Even if I was reading, nothing made me gasp like before. But this time, instead of reading popular books, I started exploring books on Amazon as per my taste and I found two books that, oh my heart is thumping, are so good that I cannot wait to go back to them. Reading these underrated books that no one is talking about yet they feel comforting to me is like finding a piece of joy that was sitting beside me at all times. All I needed was to look beyond the illusion of the wall.
I am very ashamed to admit that I had even started speed reading because I wanted to read as many books as possible like everyone was doing on social media. But as I started reading the books that align with my taste, I am now finding slow reading even more fun and exciting. Sitting down on my balcony, taking my notebook, sticky notes, and the book, reading it and not caring about the speed, but losing myself completely in the book, is the experience that ignites my soul.
Not only that, I wake up quite early these days and after getting ready, I take my morning coffee and sit with my laptop. To be honest, I tried to follow the aesthetic calming morning routine but nothing worked for me.
But, sitting with my laptop with no goal or to-do list in mind has always been the greatest pleasure to me. This is the time, I get most of the creative ideas without forcing anything. And just yesterday, I was on my laptop, looking out of the window and I got the idea of creating my own journal.
I started working on it. I forgot about the time. I didn’t think who would buy it. I didn’t doubt if I should do it or if I was capable. I just started working on it.
This is JOY to me.
It feels like my heart is coming back home when I do what I want to. When I silence the input from the external world and do what sparks my curiosity.
And sadly, this is one thing they don’t teach us in schools. If anything, they take us far away from our curiosity and turn us into a robotic version who is good at taking commands and targeting the ‘big goals that represent the bricks of the wall.’
Let Your Curiosity Guide You:
You can try to fool yourself but you won’t win. You already know what you want to do. Your heart is waiting for you to silence the input from the external world so it can communicate with you, so your heart can tell you what it really wants.
The question is: do you want to listen to the desires of your soul and open the door to joy and fun?
Or do you want to spend your entire life trying to break the wall so you can find happiness at the other end?
In case, you choose to feel joy in your day-to-day life, here is what you can do:
1. Create Silence:
What and who do you listen to all day?
Oh, let me guess. Perhaps, you spend most of your time listening to the influencers on social media — how they achieved success, what their week looked like, their recent unboxing video of a luxury bag, and well the list has no end.
Seriously? How can you possibly create joy for yourself if you spend your time listening to other people and then spend the rest of the time regretting it?
To appreciate the beauty of your ordinary life, you need to take a break from watching other’s glamorous lives on social media.
To listen to your inner voice, you have to silence the noise in the background.
When I stopped watching people, my focus automatically came back to myself. I had time, and then the question was ‘What do I want to do?’
The question led me to think about everything I used to enjoy once and the extra time in my hand offered me the chance to get back to those things.
When I stopped seeing who was reading what on social media and which author was getting popular for writing what, I realized I had some books on my wishlist and that I wanted to write about my experiences.
Result? I felt joy doing things I was burying inside me.
FYI: You are up next.
2. One Small Thing At A Time:
For the past three years, it’s been my routine to leave my phone by 9 PM. Brush my teeth, do my skin care, and then go to bed with a book.
It doesn’t matter how tough my day was or how tired I felt or if I had wasted the entire day, I look forward to this ONE thing. Because it allows me to end my day as how I like it. To do something I find joy in.
Do you have any such thing in your day-to-day life where you can find a refugee?
If no, then create ONE.
A lot of things will go as per your plans in your life but, spoiler alert, even a lot more things will not. And it’s in those days when you should have a solid ground prepared for yourself.
A habit, hobby, or routine that allows you to come back to yourself. To find the same peace and comfort. To make life joyful and fun. To make you happy. Not just on good days but every day.
You can choose to CREATE THAT ONE THING in your life which will serve as a SOURCE OF JOY in your day-to-day life.
Ask yourself, what is it that you enjoy? Where do you find most peace? What can you do for yourself to invite joy and fun back into your life? Is there something you wanted to try but you never had the time for? Make time for it now. Make time for yourself. Make time for joy or you will end up having enough time to worry and complain, whine, and cry over what you could have done.
Turn this life into a collection of your best days. Even on your worst day, try to do something good for yourself, however small, so you can send a message to your brain that ‘your joy is in your hands.’
Conclusion:
I would like to take a leave now. It’s raining here. And I am having the strongest urge to continue reading my bedtime book.
Until then, I hope you will end your day by doing ONE THING for yourself, however small or big.
Also, I have written a book, The Art of Being Alone. You can find more in my book about how you can build your dream life and create sources of joy in your life by using your alone time.
