The Lost Art of Listening!
Have you ever imagined a world where everyone around you is just talking… relentlessly talking and talking?
Up for a bit of fun?
With your eyes closed, get submerged in a fantasy land where you see every individual just chattering away.
Sounds ridiculous? Try it anyway for a bit of banter.
Welcome back!
Initially, it may have seemed like a hilarious comedy movie, but if you planted yourself in the scene as the sole listener, I bet your head would have started throbbing from the cacophony of noise.
In such a situation, you may catch something interesting here and there, but strain as you might, it would be impossible to make any sense of what’s happening around you.
In the midst of the incessant blabbering, sanity will cease to exist. What’s worse is that words of wisdom will get swamped in the sea of senseless babble.
Even though the example is a metaphor, you have probably been in similar situations at work or at social events.
Listening in a professional environment
I remember that in our MBA entrance exam preparations or even during soft skills training in business school, we would undergo several rounds of mock group discussions.
Invariably, there would be a bunch of folks who would jump into the conversation from the word go and would be hard to stop. Some would try to enter the fray with high-pitched voices.
However, the real stars would often exhibit good listening abilities and pounce on a point on which they could elaborate and take the discussion their way.
In corporate meetings, it’s not unusual to experience long-lasting monologues. Those are the real testers for people who may have had a late-night party or a hard day’s work. You would need multiple doses of caffeine to stay alert (read awake)!
Some people in leadership positions are deeply convinced that lecturing is the best way to get their subordinates to listen to them.
Maybe with them in mind, one of the pioneers of marketing, Peter Drucker, said, “Listening (the first competence of leadership) is not a skill; it is a discipline. All you have to do is keep your mouth shut.”
However, we are fortunate not to be surrounded only by such leaders who are readily swayed by their gift of the gab.
True leaders are the ones who have the patience to listen to their teammates, understand their pain points, and then suggest implementable solutions. They are often the leaders of choice who can motivate their teams for bigger and greater achievements.
Listening and empathy
The Bible says, “Know this, my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19)
When you hear with your ears but listen with your hearts, you are giving the confidant one of your most valuable possessions — your time.
A grieving friend, a panic-stricken colleague, or an anxious relative who confides in you may not necessarily be eager for a solution. They are, quite often, just searching for someone to share their problems with. All they need is compassionate listening.
To handle such a situation, you may follow the three-fold path that Gaur Gopal Das, a renowned monk and motivational speaker, proposes in his second book, “Energize Your Mind.”
- Understand: Try to first understand the problem. Understanding is often more virtuous than knowledge.
- Feel: To strengthen your understanding of the situation, you can try to put yourself in your friend’s shoes. Every individual has unique circumstances that compound his problems, hence, any probable solution has to factor in his specific environment.
- Act: Take action by sharing your thoughts as guidance and not mere instructions to follow. If you can physically or emotionally help a disturbed soul then don’t hesitate to extend a helping hand, but do so after you have listened to their woes with full attention.
While a judicious mind is aware of the obvious benefits of good listening skills, you may wonder how to actually enhance them.
Is there a time-tested formula? Has it been practised by generations in the past?
The art of listening holds a pivotal place in Sanatana Dharma.
Shruti, in Sanskrit, means “that which is heard” and forms the scriptural backbone of Hinduism.
Swami Chinmayanada explains that Shruti is the cumulative realisations that the sages of yesteryear were bestowed with during deep meditation. It is apaurusheya or not attributable to any particular individual. The state in which such divine experiences were obtained extends beyond the realms of “I” or “mine.”
It is the original form of the Vedas, which were passed on from generation to generation. In fact, the Vedas are Shrutis.
Can you fathom the enormity of knowledge that only lasted in the form of words that were heard?
Such is the power of listening!
The obvious question now is how they inculcated the practice of memorising through listening.
As mentioned in the Katha Upanishad, “He, who is possessed of supreme knowledge by the concentration of mind, must have his senses under control, like spirited steeds controlled by a charioteer.”
In Hindu philosophy, it is firmly believed that the Vedas and Agamas are the words of God that were given to seers through hearing.
So, for thousands of years, students learned from their gurus by listening to them, and the Vedas remained unaltered. They could master this art by practising the verses in eleven different ways, including backward chanting.
In priest training schools, even today, aural teaching methods are followed. The guru chants each verse once, and then the students chant it twice as a group, trying their best to match the teacher’s chanting as closely as possible in terms of pronunciation and rhythm. To master such immaculate accuracy requires years of dedication and discipline. An early start helps; hence, some priest families send their new generations even at the age of five, when the children’s memories are relatively more receptive.
Sivaya Subramuniyaswami, an American-born Hindu religious Guru, says, “Because sound is the first creation, knowledge is transferred through sound of all kinds.”
To master the art of listening, inculcate some of the ways that made the Vedic seers such marvellous listeners.
- Listen to the sound of silence: Spend some time each day listening to your inner voice. In the words of Swami Vivekananda, “Talk to yourself once in a day, otherwise, you may miss meeting an excellent person in this world.” A stronger sense of self-awareness may lead to greater empathy toward others when hearing their account.
- Practise mindfulness: A calm mind that is receptive to sounds (not just words) around you is also open to feeling the emotions that go into a conversation. Mindfulness also trains you to be present in the current moment, a strong attribute for a good listener. Some of the best conversations are often limited to a few words, where unspoken dialogues play a pivotal role.
- Appreciate the value of listening: The Vedic sages recognised the importance of listening for learning, growth, and harmony, and they worked hard to develop this ability throughout their lifetimes.
Let the light of wisdom, compassion, and bonhomie shine through the precious art of listening!
