The Myth of “Happily Single!”
Loneliness is as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day for years and increases the risk of premature death by 26%.
“Happily single!” is the one phrase I no more want to hear.
I’m yet to see someone that starts off in life desiring to be and remain single for the rest of their lives and are extremely happy about it.
Even those who become nuns and priests, do it as a sacrifice to serve in an office they believe glorifies God and thereby derive great joy from it.
People only go into the default mode of happily single as a result of fear. Fear of trust, thinking that the way they saw their father treat their mom might happen to them, so the solution is to be single. Fear as a result of high levels of divorce around them. Fear that someone will break their heart again. It is a result of fear prompted by something broken in our family of birth, what we hear on social media and what we see around us or the terrible experiences that we’ve had in relationships.
I argue that there is no such a thing as “happily single” as preferred to being in a healthy relationship.
Most women that claim they prefer to be “happily single” have been in multiple relationships that did not work out and so, in fear of finding themselves in a similar situation, as a coping mechanism, give themselves a little dignity by claiming to be “happily single.”
Love is the very first necessity to all human beings. That’s why you seek companionship even in pets because you want a sense of belonging. You want someone or some animal to be there for you. To claim you as theirs. To have your back.
Let’s stop making those who actively seek companionship as being unable to be by themselves or not “happily single”. No one was created to be alone forever.
Loneliness increases the risk of premature death by approximately 26%, which is comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day and more dangerous than obesity, lack of physical activity, and air pollution.
Let’s rather advice that people have enough discipline to wait alone until they find a person that is most alligned with their values and not get in relationships that will end up disastrous for them due to differences in values.
Let’s rather advice that people learn to be the kind of people that can make marriages last, let’s encourage people to be patient in their search of a partner that is most suitable for them instead of pressuring people in our talks to be happily single. You promote premature death with the concept of “happily single.”
And I’m not saying that we must just find any companion at all cost, we all know that that’s not a long lasting solution. I’m also not saying all relationships lead to bliss but that in no way should be a reason to promote what goes against human nature.
And we make it sometimes seem like it is the fault of relationships that things turn out terrible instead of acknowledging that we make bad decisions in our choices of partners and that’s what lead to all the complications we meet in relationships and that does not now mean we must buy this idea of “happily single.” It simply means we must learn how to choose according to what our own beliefs are.
As we may see in nature, there is no single animal species that is just all male or all female. You get both male and female. Can that not teach us something? Even animals need companionship but humans are here talking of being “happily single.”
The very first man that God created was alone but God saw it and said it was not good for him to be alone, he had everything but he could not be happy alone. They had to make someone in his likeness to be with him.
Let’s please stop this myth: no one is “happily single”.
“Happily single” is a product of circumstances, not a desired position. Loneliness rivals smoking 15 cigarettes a day in damaging our health.
- Promote personal growth
- Promote service to others
- Promote good marriages
- And please stop the myth of happily single.
