The Next Time You Hug Someone, Hug Tighter!
Because you never know what life has for you in the very next moment!
Life is unpredictable, it was always unpredictable but Covid-19 has made me realize it better. In the initial days, it didn’t trouble me enough as it was new and exciting to be at home and do everything according to my convenience. It felt more like a break from life. But, this year, when I was tested positive, I realized that it’s not a break but a stoppage from life!
In my normal days, I sit and chat with my family, but again according to my mood but when I was in quarantine; I missed talking to them in person. I was in the same house, but it felt like a lot of distance from them. I obviously didn’t tell them about all this, as they were already under stress and I didn’t want to bother them more. So, I thought of distracting myself from such thoughts. But they were always there in the back of my mind.
I enjoyed video calling my friends and family because it made me see people closer to me than in my real life. It helped me but again, not for a longer time.
Emotional Cravings!
I was actually missing the human touch in that room. I was really craving to sit with people with no worries of infection and sympathetic eyes. I wanted to get back to those good, beautiful days which were a memory now. I also regretted the moments I missed with the people I love just because of some stupid reasons.
I was fighting a battle within myself, proving to myself that I am fine, even though deep down I knew the reality. It’s not about living in denial, but it’s more like I was afraid to accept that I was being weak.
I tried cheering myself up with F.R.I.E.N.D.S., movies, or even reading Becoming, but something was missing. Living in isolation may sound simple and easy but it’s even more distressing than the actual Covid-19 symptoms. It was touching me, mentally, more than physically.
In the meantime, my father was also going through the same situation, but things went a bit critical and we had to take him to the hospital. I was informed about all this by mom on a call. I was there but stuck in a room. I couldn’t do anything in such a situation. But by God’s grace and my brother’s and mom’s infinite efforts, he finally dealt with it.
And almost about 1-month, when I was out of my room, I hugged my brother and it was longer than usual. I am not sure whether he realized the reason, but it meant a lot to me. I finally felt normal again. Although I was cautious in touching things around or sitting anywhere in the house but slowly, I was able to feel better. Since then I couldn’t gather the courage to go back into that room again.
Life is too short for procrastination
That one month taught me to stop taking things for granted as we never know what is waiting for us next. It’s time to do things we have been planning for even though that involves expressing yourself, learning a new skill, changing your job, a small meet-up with friends, family functions, or even trips to desired destinations. As life is too short to keep things pending for next year, month, or even a day!
I didn’t want to write about those days, but I couldn’t write anything else, as those thoughts were still messing with my thinking. I feel better and relieved and maybe a little less burdened now.
