The NoFap Starter Guide
So you’ve decided to give NoFap a try. Here’s everything you need to know before you get started.
For the people who have stumbled across this article and have no idea what NoFap is, allow me to explain:
NoFap is a movement that challenges its participants to abstain from pornographic material, masturbation, or sex altogether for extended periods of time.
Many people who participate in NoFap hope it will bring about certain benefits that will improve the quality of their life. These benefits include:
- Increased levels of testosterone.
- Improved confidence.
- Better sexual performance.
- Improved physical and mental health.
- And much more…
While on paper it sounds astounding, it should go without saying that there is very little scientific evidence to support these claims.
Most of the benefits associated with NoFap are purely based on testimonials and personal experience and are not based entirely on fact.
It is not to say that NoFap is a fad or a waste of time, it’s just important to recognize humans are unique individuals and have different experiences. What works for one may not work for others.
I did not understand things like this when starting this journey two years ago. Going into NoFap, there was a lot of misinformation, naivety, and delusion, leading to an unpleasant experience at first.
It’s hard not to be drawn in by the promising stories and auspicious nature of NoFap. However, this seemingly positive journey toward self-improvement can morph into a toxic and disappointing experience.
So, I thought I’d share the knowledge I have gained over the past 2 years to paint a more realistic picture of what to expect if you decide to give NoFap a try.
In this article I will be debunking some common myths, suggesting some activities you can do, and providing a deeper insight into the movement as a whole.
Let’s get started.
1. Set Realistic Expectations
What enticed me about NoFap was the promise of copious amounts of self-confidence and becoming a man with no fear.
I was told that after 2 to 3 weeks of abstinence, my anxiety would vanish and be replaced with an abundance of tenacity and courage. I was under the assumption that females would be head over heels for me as soon as I entered a room.
Imagine my surprise after 2 weeks had passed and I wasn’t surrounded by beautiful women every time I stepped outside my house.
It’s important to have realistic expectations of what NoFap can do for you. Setting your expectations incredibly high simply due to the testimonials you may have seen online will most likely lead to disappointment.
While getting rid of a bad habit is great, it is unlikely that this change alone will revolutionize your life, which leads me to my next point.
2. NoFap Alone Will Not Change Your Life
Let’s say you want to get into the best physical shape possible. You notice that your diet has been consistently poor for years, so you decide to cut out all the unhealthy food you consume.
Yes, you may lose weight but without the proper exercise, nutrition, or sleep, you cannot reach your full physical potential.
It’s the same with NoFap. While cutting out a bad habit is a great first step in the journey to a better life, that alone won’t lead you to the optimal outcome.
NoFap works best when you not only cut out harmful habits but replace them with healthier alternatives. This is how you can have the best experience.
Instead of grabbing your phone or laptop before bed, try and read a book. Instead of browsing the internet when no one is around, try and do a workout or take a cold shower.
Without the pursuit of pornography, you have more time to divert your attention to more beneficial activities. Activities that can have a profound impact on your life even if you dedicate a few minutes a day.
3. Remember That You Are Not Alone
For many, watching porn is a very shameful act. It’s why we go through so much trouble to hide it away.
When hidden, that shame festers and can consume us. It makes us feel alone and helpless. It’s how I felt when I started NoFap. I felt as if there was no one I could turn to who would truly understand what I was going through.
But there is. There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people who are all going through the same struggle. People who can offer better insights and suggestions as to how to eradicate this problem. We just have to be willing to ask.
Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you need to walk around and expose your deepest secrets to strangers on the street. There are tons of anonymous forums you can join that are extremely helpful and supportive.
I will suggest some that I have used at the end of this article.
4. Don’t Compare Your Journey To Others
In NoFap, there are different kinds of people.
On one side of the spectrum, you have those who have gone for months, or even years, without giving in to their urges.
On the other side of the spectrum, you have those who struggle to go 1 or 2 days without giving in to temptation.
For a while, I belonged to the latter. I remember feeling disheartened seeing people easily abstain for weeks when I struggled to make it past a few days.
Whether it’s your first day or thousandth, everybody’s path is different but the destination is still the same. All that matters is that you never give up and keep moving forward.
5. Don’t Let The Failures Go To Your Heart
Listen, NoFap is hard. Giving up something that may have been in your life for decades will never be easy.
There will inevitably be times when the urges become too strong to overcome.
It is natural. Personally, whenever I’d “fail”, I couldn’t help but feel demoralized and disappointed in myself. Every time I felt as if I had let myself down tremendously.
From there, toxic thoughts began to cloud my mind and judgment. My failures convinced me I was weak and unworthy of life without pornography. How could I ever get rid of this habit if I kept “failing”?
What I didn’t understand is that the only way you can fail is if you give up completely. Napoleon Hill said it best:
“Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting”
Understand that failure is a necessary part of the journey. You are not defined by your failures, in anything you do. Just remember to keep moving forward, no matter how many times you get knocked down or experience a setback.
Methods Used To Battle Urges
- Cold showers
- Meditation (before bed to fall asleep faster)
- Exercise
- Spending time with family and friends
- Motivational podcasts on YouTube and Spotify
- Journaling
- Charging your phone in another room
- TheEasyPeasyMethod
Useful Apps That I Have Used
- I Am Sober- Community based app with other people struggling with addiction. Can be completely anonymous. Allows you to track days, join groups and journal. (Free but comes with subscription option)
- Covenant Eyes- Blocks all explicit content on your phone. Incorporates accountability partners on your account and they will be notified if the app is deleted or if explicit content is being watched. (£11 or $13.20 a month)
- Brainbuddy- Very similar to I Am Sober but has more features such as meditation sessions, regular checkups, tests, challenges, and daily exercises. (£12 or $14.40 a month)
- Headspace- Mindfulness app (Free)
- NoFap Subreddit- NoFap community. Also anonymous. (Free)
“No one can be great, or good, or happy except through the inward efforts of themselves.”
-Frederick W. Robertson
