The Only Reason Someone Is Not Perfect for You
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The sooner you realize, the better it is
So you met this guy or girl. He was perfect. She is breathtaking. They fit all the things you ever wanted on a potential partner. You both clicked. You have a lot in common. You like their personality. You can’t stop admiring their character. The chemistry between the two of you is a bomb. Oh, and how you both have the same values and outlook on life.
In your mind, you and he are perfect together. It’s not just in your mind actually. On paper, you both would be perfect for each other — you have made a comprehensive list. Your friends told you so. They think you’re cute together. The random personality quiz you took on the internet also gave positive results on compatibility.
But alas, there’s one tiny thing…
They are not that into you.
They are nice, but you sense something is missing. You see a lack of effort. They are not there when you need them. They might be too busy. You keep guessing what’s your position in their life, whether or not you are a priority.
They already said that they like you, but not on a level that you hope for.
And for this reason, it’s only apparent that you should no longer consider them as the perfect prince or princess charming you’ve been seeking this whole time.
Never settle for less
It’s true that you should not settle for less when it comes to traits you hope to find in a partner. Especially if those traits are non-superficial things such as loyalty, kindness, and honesty. But remind yourself that you also should not settle for less on the things you’re hoping to receive in a relationship, such as love, affection, compassion, or attention.
They might be the best guy and girl you’ve ever met. The most beautiful, the smartest, the kindest. Their work ethic is inspiring, their hearts of saints is admirable. Their personal integrity, loyalty, moral compass, all those don’t matter if, by the end of the day, they won’t give you the kind of love you want and deserve.
With that, they are no longer the perfect one. In fact, they never are.
He might be like Obama, but if he doesn’t see you the way Obama sees Michelle then what’s the point.
He’s still Obama, a person who is trying to do good in this world. Till the end of the day, he will never give you the reason not to respect him or admire him as an exceptional human being.
But as a potential partner, you better get rid of him.
The sooner you realize this, the better
The realization will be both revealing and relieving. You’ll find an answer to why something is not quite right. You begin to understand your frustrations on why your emotional needs are never properly met.
It saves you time and resources from being too invested in this imperfect relationship dynamic.
There will be less emotional pain associated with being in a one-sided relationship.
You got a signal to move on, to seek other opportunities.
Letting go
Letting go is not as easy as it sounds. Especially when you think your love interest as one of a kind.
There are not many Obamas in this world. It’s natural if you cling on to them when you meet one. People are attracted to things that are scarce.
The first mindset you need to adopt is that other Obamas do exist. A person with a similar level of intellect, integrity, passion for humanity, calm, and charisma, they are out there somewhere. You just haven’t met them yet.
Even if you never come across them for the rest of your life, it’s still okay.
Because you still have yourself.
That’s another key point here: First and foremost, be comfortable to be with just yourself.
You must have stumbled across this popular Instagram quote,
It’s better to be alone than to be with the wrong person
It’s a cliche but it’s utterly right. The fact that he doesn’t like you makes him the total opposite of Mr. Right.
Also, remember that you let go of someone who doesn’t care about you. And they will lose someone who cares about them. Tell me who’s the bigger loser here.
What makes a perfect partner?
A perfect partner is the one that fulfills most if not all your requirements in a partner.
On top of that, they choose you.
He deliberately making a conscious choice to be with you and stick with his commitment. He makes you a priority. He cares for your wellbeing. He set aside time for you.
She decided to be with you, remain devoted in good times and in bad times. She is there when you need her. She tells you that she wants to be with you — sometimes it’s that plain and simple.
If they do these things, now you have found Mr. or Ms. Perfect.
Sometimes they don’t necessarily meet all your initial requirements. He might be not as smart as you initially thought. She might a bit emotional sometimes and can be a pain in the ass when angry. But it doesn’t matter.
These are the things you can accept and decide to live with. His cluelessness is so darn cute and her temper can be endearing sometimes.
But one thing you should never compromise on is their love for you.
No bargaining in this matter. Either they love you a lot or none at all. Never accept middle ground. No half-hearted commitment. No lukewarm romance.
Once again I’d like to emphasize, never settle in this matter.
You deserve ultimate love.
