The Power of Saying No
How learning to pushback can help you and your team to succeed
One of my colleagues came to me and asked this question;
“Hey Ash, this backlog that we’re trying to tidy up, what should we do with anything that we’re not sure when or if we’ll do?”
The backlog in question had about 100 items in it, each one multiple months' worth of work. Added up, it consisted of about 10 years worth of work for the team. My response? Quite simple and clear. If you can’t estimate when you’re going to deliver a piece of work, or you’re not sure what it is, JUST DELETE IT.
I asked the manager, how did you get into a position of having a backlog of so much work? Their response was, “We just say yes to everything that comes in”.
What’s happened here, is a common pattern I see across managers I work with. An unwillingness to push back, an incapability to say no. We want to please, we want to seem capable, and we worry if we say no people will think we’re not good enough. So we default to saying “Yes”.
- Can we deliver this on time? Yes
- Can we add some more work to your team? Yes
- Can we sacrifice your health to deliver against all the odds? Yes
This creates a problem for ourselves and our team, but there is another way…
The Power of Saying No
In a world that celebrates the yes mentality, a world that promotes the idea of seizing every opportunity that comes our way, we overlook the incredible power of saying no. Saying no is not a sign of weakness, but rather an act of bravery. It’s a boundary-setting tool that allows us to prioritise what we deem to be the most important, make room for the things that truly matter.
No Creates Focus
Saying no to distractions, unnecessary obligations, and time-consuming endeavors allows us to cultivate laser-like focus and enhanced productivity. When we’re selective about our commitments, we free up valuable time and energy to concentrate on the tasks that truly matter. By declining requests or opportunities that don’t align with our goals, we can invest our resources in meaningful endeavors that propel us forward.
The next time you get a request, ask yourself, “is this what I want to focus on?” If the answer is yes, great, take it on, it aligns with your goals. If the answer is no, stand up, be confident, and say no. You can help others to understand your reasons for saying no, but do it proudly and unashamedly.
Saying yes to everything makes us flounder, wandering from one thing to the next but never truly achieving anything. By being selective about the commitments we undertake, we create space for the endeavors that truly resonate with us. Instead of getting caught up in people-pleasing and spreading ourselves thin, we can focus on projects and experiences that align with our passions.
Saying no is a powerful tool in our pursuit of excellence and helps us make significant strides toward our team focus. Your team will thank you for this.
No Creates Empowerment
We run a Scrum of Scrums in my teams, sometimes we talk about pieces of work that are not going so well. Perhaps there’s a blocker, some delay on another team, or a risk that we hadn’t considered. I ask “Is the completion date still achievable?” Responses I get to this include, “should be”, “hopefully”, and “I think so”.
I almost never hear the response “no”.
What my team doesn’t understand is that I would love to hear the word no. No is the truth, no is accurate, and no is empowered. Saying no leads to a conversation where solutions can be found. If the answer to “will this be delivered successfully?” is no, then it kicks off the work to figure out a path back to success. Saying “should” or “hopefully” only means we do nothing and assume all will be fine. It rarely is.
No empowers us to embrace our autonomy and take charge. We don’t feel obligated to say yes to every request, but instead, we have the freedom to choose the experiences and commitments that are best placed for ourselves and our teams.
No Creates Confidence
Earlier in my career, I raised a request on another team’s backlog. It was an ask, a feature, for something that I thought would have been useful for the deployment pipeline tools we were using. It was a ‘nice to have’, but by no means critical.
About a day later the manager of the team closed the ticket.
“Rejected — Won’t Do”
I was surprised it was rejected so easily, so I reached out to the manager. They explained to me the focus of the team, the critical nature of their current project, and that anything that was not directly aligned with the mission of the team would be rejected. This manager had the confidence to keep the team focused. This manager knew how to say no.
Despite that being many years ago, I remember that event and the confidence the manager displayed. It was inspiring and something I think about relating to my own teams to this day. If you want to inspire confidence in yourself and your team, role-model how to say no.
In Closing
Saying “no” is not an act of selfishness, but a declaration of self-worth and self-preservation. It empowers us to prioritize our well-being, set boundaries, and live in alignment with our authentic selves. Embracing the liberating power of saying no allows us to create teams filled with purpose, and meaningful work. Let us embrace the art of pushing back.
I challenge you to say no.
Like what you’ve read? Check out some of my other content >>
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