The power you gain in losing expectations

And how to ‘actually’ work your way through this burden

Photo by Sead Dedić on Unsplash

Expectations. Damn! The word in itself sounds like a burden, which it is. I mean, expectations from others and the ones we have from them. It’s an infinity well that we circle around pretty much our entire life, ever since we landed on this planet.

But today’s topic wasn’t planned to necessarily talk about the expectations others have from us, though now that I think about it, it isn’t really a bad idea. But today, we’re talking about the mansion of expectations that we build brick by brick, only to see it collapse every other time.

But why shouldn’t we expect it? I mean, we’re humans, after all! If we’ve put in hard work, time, and effort into someone or something, it is our nature, after all, to expect something in return.

If I check up on my friends, I would expect them to care for me. If I put in extra hours at work, a raise is something I would expect. I know it sounds impractical to go about life without expecting things in return. I know it feels pointless to do the things we do if we give up on the idea of getting anything back.

Well, I apologise in advance, but I’m about to burst your bubble as I say that that is not how the world works.

But, but, but, hold on! That still doesn’t imply that life is unfair, but here I present a somewhat alternative explanation if you would allow me to explain.

Imagine yourself winning a lottery of a million dollars among the hundred thousand people who’d bought the ticket. Pretty unexpected, right? But not winning wouldn’t have really bothered you either. That was because you weren’t expecting it.

Expecting something really hurts, especially when it isn’t met the way we had pictured it in our heads. So, what do we do?

One thing that I’d really like you to take away from this post is that,

Life is not fair is a myth. It’s just that life isn’t linear. It doesn’t work like you imagine things as. Maybe you worked hard but didn’t get a promotion, and then some years down the lane, you get lucky as you win a lottery of some sort! That isn’t really luck. It was your hard work whose pay got slightly delayed.

If I tell you to stop expecting, you won’t! Not because you don’t wish to stop, but because it doesn’t seem practical. But there are two things that I’ve concluded from my introspection (also called overthinking), and that is —

1. Take the actions and decisions not because of a future outcome you expect but for the present. Help someone not with the expectation that they will help you back, but because making someone happy makes your day. Work hard not because you wish to be appreciated but rather because working towards your dreams makes you happy. Find joy in what you do, and you will lose expectations from a future no one’s seen.
2. Life doesn’t always work linearly. Sometimes your efforts and hard work may not give you what you expect at that moment purely because you will get the pay when you need it the most. So be hopeful! I know it’s painful when people don’t treat you right, but remember, someone out there will recognise your talent, value your time, and give back all the care you’ve ever given out, 10 times multiplied.

So drop the baggage of expectations with a sense of faith that all your efforts are no waste. The pay is out there, waiting to come to you at the right time, probably even multiplied. And until then, keep your hopes up and smile :)

This was day 5 of my 30-day writing challenge. Thank you for reading!