The Psychology Behind PDA: Why Some People Love It and Some Hate It

How Culture, Psychology, and Relationship Status Affect Our Attitudes Towards PDA

Firman Nofhananda
ILLUMINATION
3 min readJul 8, 2023

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Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels

Public display of affection, or PDA, is the act of showing physical intimacy with your partner in public. It can range from holding hands, hugging, and kissing, to more explicit gestures, such as groping, fondling, or making out. Some people love PDA and can’t keep their hands off each other, while others hate it and feel uncomfortable or annoyed by it. But what are the psychological reasons behind these different preferences and reactions?

The Cultural Factor

One of the factors that can influence how we view and judge PDA is our cultural background. Different cultures have different norms and expectations about what is appropriate or inappropriate to do in public. For example, some cultures are more conservative and reserved, while others are more expressive and open. Our family upbringing can also play a role in shaping our attitudes towards PDA. If we grew up in a family where our parents were affectionate and demonstrative with each other, we may see PDA as normal and acceptable. On the other hand, if we grew up in a family where our parents were distant or divorced, we may see PDA as foreign or undesirable.

The Psychological Factor

Another factor that can affect how we feel about PDA is our psychological makeup. Some people are more prone to thrill-seeking behaviors than others, and they may enjoy the excitement and adrenaline rush of showing off their love in public. They may also have an element of exhibitionism, which means they get aroused by being watched or exposing themselves to others. For these people, PDA can be a way of spicing up their relationship and boosting their self-esteem.

However, not everyone likes the attention or the risk of PDA. Some people are more introverted or shy, and they prefer to keep their private life private. They may feel embarrassed or violated by being exposed to other people’s eyes or judgments. They may also value intimacy and respect more than excitement and novelty. For these people, PDA can be a source of anxiety and discomfort.

The Relationship Factor

A third factor that can influence how we perceive and practice PDA is our relationship status and quality. PDA can have different meanings and functions depending on the stage and nature of our relationship with our partner. For example, in the beginning of a relationship, when we are infatuated and passionate about each other, we may engage in more PDA to express our attraction and desire. We may also use PDA to mark our territory and signal our commitment to others.

However, as the relationship progresses and matures, we may reduce or change our PDA habits. We may feel more secure and confident in our bond, and we may not need to prove or display our love as much. We may also become more aware and respectful of other people’s feelings and boundaries, and we may adjust our PDA accordingly.

Of course, not all relationships are healthy or happy. Sometimes, PDA can be a sign of insecurity or manipulation. For instance, some people may use PDA to make their partner jealous or insecure, or to control their behavior. Others may use PDA to hide their problems or dissatisfaction with their relationship, or to create a false image of happiness.

The Bottom Line

PDA is a complex and personal phenomenon that can have different meanings and effects for different people. There is no right or wrong way to show your affection in public, as long as you are respectful of yourself, your partner, and others around you. However, it is important to communicate with your partner about your preferences and expectations regarding PDA, and to respect their feelings and boundaries as well. By doing so, you can ensure that your PDA is a positive and healthy expression of your love.

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