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The Quandary of Engaging, Detaching or Calling It Quits with Elderly Parents Who Harmed You
When caring for elderly parents can be detrimental
Often I encounter men and women seeking treatment for complex trauma, incurred from years of psychological, physical, and sexual abuse perpetrated by their abusive parents. Typically these men and women committed to their recovery and growth are insightful and courageous. As they heal and dismantle the wreckage of their past, they begin to unravel the complexity of the mistreatment they endured at the hands of their caregivers.
If the adult child was raised by a parent with cluster-b pathology they were likely on the receiving end of smear campaigns, scapegoating, gaslighting and willful manipulation, along with physical, emotional and psychological abuse, devoid of moral compunction. The parental abuser skillfully played the victim while engaging gullible others to target and vilify their scapegoated child.
As therapy unfolds, many begin to expose the pernicious nature of their parents and the ruinous damage brought about by years of parental violation and neglect. They come to know that the parental abuser, often incapable of empathy and thus indifferent to another’s pain, is intolerant of any lapses in attention and impervious to truth and reason.
