The Real Reason You Don’t Have Your Dream Job
Opportunities may not be as elusive as they seem…
This story is a bit of a note to self. You see, I have a fine job. It’s a desk job in an always-too-cold office. I work from 7:30 am to 4:00 pm and never have to work nights or weekends. I get along with all my coworkers and make decent enough money. I had the privilege to be able to work from home earlier this year during the start of the pandemic. All things considered, I am lucky.
My job is fine.
But I’ve never been able to quiet that little voice inside my head that asks, “Is the point of life to be fine?”
I want to be fulfilled. I want to do work that matters. I want to have a voice that inspires and serves others. Yet, I understand that I have to pay my bills and keep a roof over my head and food on the table. So, I continue shuffling papers across my desk and attending not-always-necessary meetings.
I take care of my responsibilities and remember to be grateful for a steady paycheck. But that doesn’t keep me from constantly checking Indeed for new opportunities.
Most of the time though, I’m not even quite sure what I’m looking for. I open the app thinking this time the stars will align and my dream job will be right there, waiting for me to apply. But after a while of scrolling, I’m left with the feeling that I’d only be moving from one desk to another, from one sad breakroom to another.
Recently, however, I did have that unexpected moment. I checked my email and saw a notification from Nutritionfacts.org that they were hiring for a Social Media Administrative Assistant. I don’t necessarily have any experience on my resume that is directly related to the job, but it seemed fairly entry-level so I felt like I had a chance at it.
“I have to at least try,” I thought to myself. This company had become a very important resource for me as I transitioned to a plant-based diet and I was enamored by the mission of Dr. Greger and his team. (By the way, if you’ve never heard of him and are curious about changing your diet, I highly recommend this interview he did with Rich Roll. It’s the video that convinced me to go fully plant-based).
This was a job with a cause that I felt connected to. I wanted to be a part of the team that was helping to make a positive change in other people’s lives.
I decided I would apply after work but wanted to review the application so I could start thinking about how I would answer the questions. Everything sounded great until I got to the very last part: “Tell us about your current and/or past volunteer activities.”
My heart dropped. I couldn’t think of the last time I had volunteered for anything (besides being in the Army, but that sounded like a cheap shot at a humble-brag that I was not willing to use on a job application).
Now, not only was I feeling unqualified for the position, but I was also feeling terrible that the one thing I didn’t measure up to was essentially just being a generous person.
For the next two days, I scoured my mind trying to think of one good thing I had done that I could use to answer that question. Was I really going to let that one deficiency keep me from even applying?
On the third day, as I was getting ready to drive into work, I told myself, “When I get home today I’m just going to do it, even if I have to admit that I don’t volunteer.” I was not going to sit out on this opportunity. Without missing a beat, a thought wandered into my subconscious: “…if the job posting is still open.”
Call it intuition I suppose. I’m not even quite sure why that thought floated to the surface. Maybe it was an effect of my feeling that I had been procrastinating. But it had only been 3 days. It couldn’t possibly be closed already.
When I got to the office, I was a good little worker bee for the entire morning. At lunch, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I went to the email, clicked the link to the application, and then stared at the red words stamped across the page: APPLICATIONS CLOSED.
Usually, I can see the dark humor in these kinds of things. The universe ridicules me and I laugh alongside it at myself. This time felt different. I was so disappointed that I let this chance slip through my fingers.
The difference is that I used to be a subscriber to the idea of “destiny.” Whatever is meant to be, will be. Lately, however, I’ve come to truly believe that we chose our own paths in life.
We make decisions every day about what to wear, what to eat, and how to fill our free time. But, when it comes to big life decisions like where to live or the job where we are going to spend 1,811 hours every year, we let “fate” decide.
Now, I’m not saying without any doubt that this would have truly been my dream job. I can’t ever know for sure that it would have brought me the fulfillment that I am looking for.
What hurts is that I had this opportunity that made me so excited just by the prospect of it, and I stood in the doorway of it, paralyzed by fear and self-doubt for so long that it eventually shut in my face.
I didn’t even try.
Maybe for you, you always jump on an opportunity. Maybe you don’t know this type of regret. But if you’ve read this far it’s because you are still longing for something.
Take a moment to analyze if the universe really is conspiring against you to keep you chained to your 9-to-5, or if maybe you’re stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage.
If this story hits home for you, you might be feeling a little discouraged by it, but please know, it does have a happy ending.
You see, as I mentioned earlier, I normally use humor to write this kind of stuff off. I roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of it. A day late and a dollar short. I tell myself, “it obviously wasn’t meant to be.” Now I’m awake to how damaging this attitude has been in my life.
While we can’t guarantee that things will always go our way, we can accept the responsibility for the things we do have control over. We can awaken to the fact that we are the authors of our own stories. We can stop living life in a default state where things happen to us, instead of for us.
There will always be people in life that tell you “no.” You’ll never be able to change that. So instead, focus your attention on becoming a “yes” for yourself. Know that there is an alternate reality where you go after what you want and you succeed.
Here’s to meeting opportunities head-on and not counting ourselves out.
