The RedPill: Biggest Con of the 21st Century
How I became a Manosphere Extremist
I swallowed The Red Pill at the age of 17.
Dating was a constant source of failure and pain for me. Miscommunications, arguments and breakdowns were constant.
In turmoil, I looked for guidance.
But who do I talk to?
I thought this struggle was unique to me.
I hadn’t talked to my dad in years.
Most people gave me cliched advice.
And I was clueless about what made me worthy of love.
Not only that, but I felt like an “other” among my peers.
Remember when I talked about “No Longer Human”?
That was me for all my adolescent life.
I thought this struggle was unique to me.
On a chance day, on my usual surf on the web, I discovered what I thought to be The Holy Grail.
But after 3 years of burnt bridges and pain…
I can say…
The Red pill brings nothing but pain and failure to those who believe in it.
I am not the only young man who fell into The Redpill (TRP) rabbit hole. The growth cannot be understated to “horny lonely virgins” with no free time. People that you least expect share convictions of TRP.
Your barber, your teacher or your brother…
It’s a fight club of like-minded, emotionally stunted men. But for the unaware, let’s define TRP.
Definition of TRP
The Redpill offers men a “reality check” about society, particularly gender dynamics.
It suggests that what is taught about relationships is not only incorrect but also detrimental to men.
Redpill often views modern feminism with scepticism, asserting that it’s responsible for many of the societal ills they identify.
They believe that this movement has led to a societal shift that disadvantages men.
The ideology often leans on evolutionary psychology to argue that certain behaviours in men and women are hardwired.
For instance, it posits that women are more selective, whereas men are inherently more competitive.
While it delves into criticisms of society, the Redpill also emphasises self-improvement.
This covers physical fitness, financial independence, and building confidence.
Yet, the underlying motive is often to increase one’s attractiveness and social dominance.
Central to the ideology is the belief that men must employ specific strategies to achieve success in the “sexual marketplace”.
This often includes understanding concepts like ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’ behaviours.
‘Alpha’ means dominant and desirable.
These are the core ideas distilled into a way anyone can understand.
For those who think that I am just someone who’s shallowly calling out TRP, allow me to address why I decided to talk on this topic:
- I am neurodivergent.
Asperger’s syndrome creates challenges for day-to-day social interactions. TRP helped me enhance my social skills but for the wrong reasons. So I can see how this can appeal to the socially awkward.
2. I come from a single-mother household
This has caused great confusion in my development from boy to man.
TRP community was the first community I felt I belonged to.
That I felt understood.
That I felt valued.
Little did I know, that I fell for the grift.
I am not an outsider looking into the red pill. I am someone who has studied the red pill for 3 years. I am someone the ideology caters to.
Yet, I decided to leave it behind me.
I see the wounds that people use to define their character.
Trauma becomes the pilot of all their decisions.
The Redpill is the biggest example of trauma untreated.
These groups of men have been traumatized by the realities of the Western world.
However, their failure to introspect causes them to adopt fascist ideals.
It’s a very convenient worldview:
We vs. Them dilemma…
Classic black-and-white thinking…
Victim Mentality…
Subtle Manipulation…
Covert Narcissism…
Trust me, I know this.
It’s either a fixation on the strengths and flaws of people.
It’s an unrealistic and childish worldview.
Yet people draw like flies to a moth for ideologies.
But ironically, they further perpetuate the cycle of infidelity and emotional abuse.
Leading to more pain.
Pain is born from insecurity.
Insecurity is the ego.
And the ego is the enemy.
The RedPill, despite its best intentions, fuels the ego.
It’s a teenage boy’s fantasy of having the hottest girls and driving the coolest car.
We tend to blame those in that circle.
Isolate and chide them for their thinking.
Ignorant of our part in their radicalization.
We must question why these boys are drawn to these ideas.
What is lacking in their lives?
What trauma do they all share?
What drives them into these groups?
From my own observations, I have noticed three distinct patterns:
Lack of a stable or close father figure
A lot of the men have had emotionally distant relationships with their fathers, which has shown to disturb their self-identity, amongst other issues.
For example, Andrew and Tristan Tate’s* father has been absent in their lives, with him gone for weeks at a time until his death. Furthermore, there were also hints of instability in the marriage.
Andrew states as such in the following video:
This form of parental negligence can distort one’s image of what it is to be a man, how to communicate with the opposite sex and the way one is to express oneself.
And worst of all, having this ever-growing longing for a father’s unconditional love.
Unfortunately, a lot of men within this space seem to have either negligent, inconsistent or abusive fathers (figures).
For most of my life, I have battled with the idea of masculinity for my entire life.
From being quite effeminate due to shame to uber-macho due to insecurity.
And my father was never close enough to talk about it either, and unaware of my struggles.
My parents were separated and had years of legal battles over me.
Words cannot describe how disconnected I felt about my father.
So for almost 18 years, I thrashed around trying to assert my masculinity based on my father’s impression.
Much like Tate, I was chasing the ideal man I thought my father wanted me to be.
Only to be crestfallen by his indifference.
Perceived marginalization
Traditional masculinity is seen to be threatened by the post-modernist world.
From the changing graduation rates to the significant increase in male suicides, I can say that men feel unrepresented in society.
What I know for a fact is a lot of boys feel actively targeted by society.
I see this as a fault within our education system, and our mainstream media for the explicit demonization of masculinity.
By labelling troubled men with labels such as “incel” or “misogynist”, we cause exile them from the community.
It’s the isolated ones that are most likely to be radicalised.
So when TRP blame society, they are half right.
Society has made them isolated and bitter.
But there is zero pause for self-reflection.
They believe the isolation is due to being stuck in a Matrix without considering their undesirable social behaviours.
TRP community engineers that bitterness into misanthropy.
This leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy of falling deeper into this ideology from social rejection.
And once hate is justifiable, that opens doors to darker thoughts.
Latent Mental Health Issues
I can see how mental health plays into being radicalised into these groups. Whether it be neurodivergence or personality disorders.
In fact, TRP encourages the use of manipulation to get the success you need in this world.
For example, one of the key strategies of TRP is “Spinning Plates”. To summarise, it is non-ethical monogamy to keep your girls in check out of insecurity from sexual competition.
Making that an aim within itself is indicative of major insecurity.
I am not professional psychologist, but I can classify that most men with this way of thinking show traits of a Cluster B personality disorder.
For the layman: Cluster B personality disorders are a group of mental health conditions characterized by intense, unstable, and dramatic patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
By their own teachings, I have identified the following traits:
- aversion to commitment,
- the tendency for manipulative behaviour,
- delusions of superiority/fantasies of grandiosity,
- emotional instability,
- pathological need for external validation
- sexual promiscuity/hypersexuality
… are all indicative of Cluster B traits and behaviours.
What’s unfortunate is these behaviours are praised.
I can see how and why these men behave in the way they do:
Crippling insecurity and lack of self-worth.
The only way they can cope in this world is through Dark Triad behaviours.
And I can say it works…
For a very short time.
Then people catch on, and they will leave you.
No matter the money, women or praise you get…
You will be more broken and alone than you can ever imagine.
And that’s the hole you fall into if you go down this road.
Traumatic Dating Experiences
This is the catalyst to anyone’s journey into TRP.
All I have to say is that it was incredibly painful.
It was so painful that it led to me subscribing to such a radical ideology.
And I can guarantee you, these RP grifters have that pain too.
Why would a self-assured man focus so much on why women have failed them?
We all have dating woes, but to make that pain central to your identity shows…
A lot of unresolved issues.
All of these, of course, are anecdotal.
I could be wrong about my opinions.
Comment below with your thoughts.
I say this to all the men in the Redpill and the adjacent philosophies:
You are hurt and broken.
You’ve experienced great pain.
Whether it be from rejection.
Or your trust is broken.
Or from your parents’ failures.
You wouldn’t attract yourself to extreme ideologies if you were well-adjusted.
The Ideology is contradictory
But TRPers reading might say to me:
“I’m trapped in the Matrix.” or
“This guy is a beta.” or
“He’s giving feminine energy.” or
“What a Jeffery.”
To that, here’s my retort:
- They claim that the post-modern world is distant from religion and family yet flaunts their wealth and lifestyle as advertisements for their courses.
- It also labels single mothers as “damaged goods” yet are the exact same men that cause single motherhood.
- They claim to bring masculinity back, yet are the most vitriolic, emotional and insecure group of men to exist.
- They encourage social climbing and shallowness for short-term financial and sexual success. Despite placing heavy scrutiny on women doing the same.
- It encourages borderline sociopathic behaviours and equates the worth of humans based on their monetary and sexual desirability.
- There is no room for spiritual growth or creating genuine interpersonal connections, the main focus is on the sensual world.
It makes the world crystal clear and simple.
Why bother looking in when everything can be rationalised as not your fault?
I won for 2 years, the looks and the attention I dreamed for.
But to no avail was I satisfied.
I lost my moral identity.
I lost my self-respect.
I lost my friends.
Looking back now, I miss the man I was before entering the community. I’m even more sorry for the people around me.
But that isolation breeds more hatred.
And in that destructive fugue, I learnt all of this.
I had weeks alone to myself.
To be alone with my own thoughts.
To look inwards.
This path is not who I am.
And I had to leave.
To be continued…
- Whilst I am aware both the Tate brothers have denounced the TRP community, it is undeniable how their message has shaped Manosphere content and the vitriol/hostility in it.
For more information on the faults of this theory, here is a link to r/exredpill detox thread:
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