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‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions…’
Allow people’s actions to tell you who they are
It feels nice to believe someone’s intentions
When someone hurts us, a common initial response often involves denial and disbelief. We may even resort to rationalisations and explanations that assist in softening the blow to our psyche.
Whilst, indeed, most people don’t have bad intentions, there are plenty of people living in complete disconnect from their values and true intentions. Being out of touch is not always a problem in its own right, but becomes a problem when the person on the receiving end of hurtful behaviours fails to give the actions the appropriate amount of weight. The seeming lack of intent can easily feel like a short-term pain reliever.
Hurtful actions may not be the result of bad intent- but can hurt nonetheless
As a Psychologist, I frequently encounter clients who have done things that have hurt other people, for which they feel guilty and bad. Some have lied, backstabbed, avoided, withheld, stonewalled, or been unavailable at times of great need. Others have shouted, abused, bullied or acted out.
The list goes on, yet most of those behaviours will rarely come from a place of ‘badness’ or evil. Rather…
