The Three-Year-Old With the Greatest Sense of Confidence
I am not a teddy bear, I am human, I can talk
I don’t remember much about my childhood or having half the audacity that my three-year-old niece has so I am always in awe of her intellect and understanding of the world around her.
As an adult myself, who sometimes struggles to remember who she is, the world at different times has structures to ensure you forget who you are. I am writing you this for the days you are deep in the abyss hoping that someone somewhere can give you words of encouragement, something to keep you going.
I can’t prevent you from the ills of the world and but I can memorialise your childhood by writing you a letter to help navigate life when the curve balls come bouncing.
Dear Tayo,
It was not long ago that I had met you, I didn’t even know about your existence until a few months before.
Then after your mother left us, you had to come to stay with your grandma. Mummy called Halimah and me to talk about the things you said to her, that you asked her if she is your mummy and if she’ll be mummy to your siblings, Wura and Aderonke. How you told her you wanted to live in a beautiful big house like hers and how you want to be rich. All of those statements impressed on me a child who has processed the world around her and where she was coming from then decided to choose differently. It is the active choice for me, the awareness that there is unpleasantness and I don’t want to be a part of it.
I don’t remember much of my childhood and I can’t remember having the sense, audacity, self-esteem, and self-confidence that you have. Whenever people referred to you as an animal or inanimate thing like a teddy bear or cartoon character, you’d tell them unequivocally that you are a human being and you are not that thing they referred to you as because you can talk. You knew as a three-year-old that you should not be called anything less than human, you knew as a three-year-old not to accept anything remotely insulting to your person.
Or the day you said if your husband marries another wife, you’ll also marry another husband, you have a strong sense of fairness and you won’t let anyone treat you less than. Or the day you told my mummy to let us build our own house so we can move there. Or how you’ll assure all of us that you’ll take care of her when you grow up. It is a pressure I wish you don’t carry but it is amazing to experience your awareness and your willingness to do something about it. You’ll gleefully express ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ accompanying it with a kiss. I don’t know where you learned to be affectionate but you see good things and you notice.
You are the best I have ever experienced and I don’t want you to ever forget that, for the days when things get tough and you struggle with your identity, or you struggle with your self-esteem, never forget Tayo who you are, you are a goddess, a god sent, a blessing to us all, a vibe, and you are who you say you are simply because you said so. Don’t let the world define you.
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