The World Of Drug Dreams
Part 2; An Unlikely Connection
A few weeks ago, when I started this series, I offered a look into the world of my drug dreams, and drug dreams as a whole. The topic is a fascinating one, with endless mysteries and reasons. Scientifically, getting factual information with this only goes so far.
Science doesn’t quite have an official answer as to what a regular dream is all about. We in sobriety are able to see that our history of drug abuse and addiction obviously, leaves branding marks on our brains. Lingering on, for the rest of our lives.
We have looked at how drug dreams make us feel, make us think, and what type of reaction, or response we have, once we waking up.
We see there is a wide spectrum of realities that manifest as an effect of those dreams. Some people have very little reaction from them, and moving right along with their days. While there were others reacted with strong anxiety or panic, becoming at risk for a relapse. Drug dreams, really affected every single person differently.
I suggest and recommend anyone who has not read part 1 of this series, to consider doing that first, before reading further here. Part one of this series is found here- https://medium.com/illumination/the-world-of-drug-dreams-a-series-c076939dbd2.
Part 2, The Weight Loss Connection
I recently took on a dramatic change for my health. It has been in the form of a new way of eating, dieting, and becoming more active. It is a lifestyle that I really have no choice but to retain because my weight was blowing up out of control, and my bloodwork for sugar and cholesterol, is at very unhealthy levels. Not to mention having high blood pressure, even while taking blood pressure medication. I also began having sleep apnea for the first time in my life.
When I took control of everything, I was able to draw the frightening conclusion that I was taking in 1,000+ calories OVER what my daily intake really should be for a healthy 43 year old man.
Research shows that sometimes when people get sober from drug addiction, their life of sobriety sometimes takes on new bad habits. I can easily confess the obvious, that I have been one of those people.
Back to drug dreams
As I mentioned in part one, I have had drug dreams since I became sober from heroin and cocaine. Drug dreams, just like most people in recovery have. Not very often at all, maybe 1 or 2 every other month. Things took a strange turn, seemingly parallel to my journey these past several weeks with making the drastic and major change with my life and eating.
For the past 3 weeks, I have had drug dreams almost every night. I would bet to estimate that there have been 18 occurrences over a 21 day period. The same length of time that I’ve been eating only the exact healthy stuff I need, with zero moments of cheating. While my drug dreams have never been very triggering to me, that doesn’t stop me from being rather intrigued as to this immense change in schedule and consistency.
I discussed this with different people; a therapist who is an expert in the addiction field, and peers of mine who are on the same journey as me, when it comes to mental health and addiction.
We were able to come to a conclusion, or maybe it was more of an hypothesis. It came kind of quick, a bit out of nowhere, but it instantly resonated with me as the potential reason.
We looked at unhealthy eating, sugars, desserts, chocolate etc etc as serious vices in my life. They have been a daily problem for almost two years. Looking at them in that way, it seems like the old example of quitting smoking. Immediately after quitting something like tobacco, the new vice of eating is born. And literally, a new addiction.
Giving up the tens of thousands of extra, and empty calories, is healthy, but is also a very huge change for my brain. It may lead me to better health, through life changing eating, but as they say, this kind of change takes 3 to 4 weeks, before it seems like a new habit, and a new set of chains, broken.
Are the given up vices of calories, leading me back to multiple occurrences of drug dreams? From once every other month, to once every night. Is it a form of compensation for my brain? At least while the body gets used to the first clean eating in years?
I love this fascinating theory, and I think I believe it too. The timing was just way too perfect to be a coincidence. I mean, looking at it, the drug dreams became often, right around day 3 or 4 of my healthy diet. Since then, and to this day, the dreams are often.
The good part of this, is that I feel okay with all of this. Like I said, the drug dreams are not triggering to me. Some may upset me, or cause anxiety. However when I wake up from them, within seconds, I am thanking God that it was only a dream, and I remember how blessed I am that today’s reality does not include active drug addiction. It includes a wonderful sobriety.
Chapter 3, The Storylines In My Head;
A Look at just exactly what is going on in these drug dreams?
Get ready for the weird!