There are so many things wrong with being nice.
7 ways by which you can suffer because of being nice.
Have you heard of the phrase, ‘Kill with Kindness?’
Now, here’s a new phrase for you, ‘Get killed by niceness’
Because I have got 7 ways by which you can suffer by being ‘too nice’:
1. Don’t set boundaries
Boundaries? What are those, please invade my privacy as much as you want because I am just so nice and welcoming.
2. Resentment
I absolutely love the balloons that burst when nice people hold their resentment for too long and burst at once when they can’t take it anymore.
Putting other’s needs above you is like calling for a disaster to happen to you.
3. Manipulation and inauthenticity
Sometimes I wonder if the people who are too nice are getting manipulated or if the supposedly nice people are actually the manipulators.
In movies, the people who are too nice in your face make the most sick kind of villains.
Somewhere a shift happens in the mindset of nice people when they are constantly mistreated and are taken advantage of.
And the line between the victim and villain starts to blur.
4. Difficult conversations
How can I have realistic conversations with you, if everything you say is just glittery and sunshine?
If you are not able to put out your conflicting thoughts. How would you build authentic relationships where the person needs to see your orignal thoughts to build a connection?
5. Overextending yourself
Did you forget that you only have 2 hands, 1 mind and 24 hours in a day?
Then why the hell did you overcommit?
Being nice comes with a package of not saying a direct simple No, which sucks.
6. Can nice people give constructive feedback?
If you are always trying to avoid conflict and or upsetting others, how do you expect yourself to give constructive criticism or honest feedback when necessary?
7. Unhealthy relationships
Welcome to one-sided relationships where you attract people who are manipulative or controlling.
Often times being nice means going out of your way to give bland smiles and give niceties even when you don’t want it.
As a society we have engraved this mindset that being nice to each is something that matters the most. People tread on this line where they try not to offend someone but end up coming out as an unauthentic person.
People don’t answer with a simple ‘No’ but instead give a counterfeit ‘yes’ just to get over with the conversation. They don’t want to get stuck in a position where they have to explain their No.
Instead of being nice. Choose to be kind.
Now you might be wondering, what’s the difference?
Kindness is expressed through actions that you take for other people to help them, while niceness typically involves superficial words or simple gestures.
Thanks for Reading!
Until next time.
Here’s something about me —
- I love digging into history, the human psyche and business. And then write about them from a nuanced perspective.
- I am super active on Twitter, so feel free to drop me a message there.
