This is What It Means When Your Fly is Open and Everybody Else Knows About It Except You
So let this idea fly, pun intended
She was ready for an interview.
You know all those preparation skills we were told about in school?
Get to the place early. Learn about the values of the company. Expound on how you’ll be an added value to the team. Learn the history of the company.
The usual.
She did all that.
On the very day, she woke up early, had a good night's sleep, and was well-prepped for the panel. It went smoothly. She loved it.
She was hopeful.
On her way back to board the bus to take her home, she was smiling at everyone. Beaming. Very proud of herself.
Up until she sat in the bus and looked down and figured that her fly was open.
Had it been open all along?
The horror.
And she was smiling throughout the morning. Throughout the interview. Throughout the journey back to the bus stage.
But her fly was open.
She was mortified.
She needed some form of clarity.
Was it open throughout or did it just pop up open when I sat down? Will it help my situation now that it could have been open when I greeted the panelists? Or did it mess it up?
These questions did not help her situation.
She was no longer confident that she had secured the spot.
That’s what happens when what you have always been relying on fails you. Something as simple as a fly. On open one.
I never followed up on whether she got the job or not. But the message is clear.
I’ll elaborate on what an open fly means in a short while.
As long as you’re alright, then I’m alright
The truth is, you can never tell if the fly was open all along or if it failed the moment she sat down.
You can’t tell.
That’s what an open fly does.
It tips you from certainty to uncertainty. The deep end. And you’re forced to swim.
It wasn’t right. So you weren’t alright.
The other truth was she had been walking in Nairobi for many years. She hardly remembers the faces she sees every day. Chances are high that people also don’t remember her face.
Even if you have the face of Gal Gadot or my girlfriend, people will forget in minutes. So even though her zipper was open, people are bound to forget about it. People just have more problems in their minds than occupying their thoughts with someone else’s fashion disaster.
Uncertainty can do that to you. Paranoia kicks in. You have to settle it.
On the flip side, if the fly was okay, she would have been okay.
If it was alright, then she would have been alright.
Let me take you through another interview which I know she definitely didn’t succeed.
She was told to report to a certain workstation in the morning for a test.
The test?
Typing.
We never had computers at home. We never had the chance to practice. She barely had a phone and at that, one with a QWERTY keyboard. Back then, the only fancy phone with this design was the Nokia 9300.
It was hella expensive.
The interview tested typing speed and accuracy. The cutoff was 30 words per minute.
Yeap! She was toast!
She’d search for that letter ‘S’ like a mime, and after finding it, punch it with a single finger to her amusement and pleasure. The pointing finger. She’d then confirm that her sentence made sense.
Long story short, she failed the interview.
Because her fingers were not alright, she was not alright, especially for the job.
What am I driving at with all this?
It has to do with relationships.
The core concept is:
The role of one serves the other and vice versa.
As long as one part of the relationship is alright, the other can also be alright.
The role of the zipper served my sister. Also, my sister attending interviews with concealed parts thanks to zippers proved that they too were essential.
Thus, the role of the zipper serves my sister in hiding her loins and the role of my sister serves the zippers in their continuous manufacture by the clothing and design industry.
In systems dynamics, this is called a stable hierarchical relationship. It’s stable because one satisfactorily serves the other and vice versa.
It becomes unstable when one role does not serve the other. For instance, if the role of one takes precedence over another, it destabilizes the hierarchical relationship.
An unstable one falters. It breaks down. It’s what we saw when my sister broke down after discovering her fly was open.
But if stable, good things happen.
As long as the women right, then we alright
If not already in one, assume you’re in a relationship.
A stable one.
According to what we have just talked about, a stable hierarchical relationship shows that the role of one partner serves the other. And vice versa.
If you have a stable relationship, good things happen.
I’m not talking about opened zippers, bent backs, and ecstatic climaxes. That aside, I refer to a shift of focus. If I know my partner serves me and I serve her or whichever pronoun you prefer, I can focus on what interests me.
I can do it with minimal distractions because I know I have a stable hierarchical relationship. I go to work or pursue my projects knowing she will be back home, where we can offload the daily stresses to each other. Lightly speaking.
A stable hierarchical relationship ensures the members focus less on the relationship and more on individual pursuits. They reduce the amount of information you have to keep about the other components.
Think of a neighbourhood with several houses. It can be a gated community.
I don’t need to know my neighbour's birthday or how many cars they have. But I can just be satisfied knowing one name. Not the full name.
The same case applies to the other neighbours.
In the event of a fire breakout, my neighbour will serve me in trying to put it out. They might even call the firefighters. I will likely do the same for them.
There’s the possibility of the fire jumping to another house or a post-analysis showing a cause such as poor planning might be prevalent in all the houses.
A faulty switch. Or wrong piping.
In such a neighbourhood, the role of one serves the other. It’s a community built off of stable hierarchical relationships.
It also means I can go to work, party as much as I want outside the locale, and come back home to a safe neighbourhood.
Basically…
Long as we livin’ right, then we alright
Hierarchical relationships highlight the importance of mergers
Hierarchies have this beautiful quality about them.
I don’t have to have so much info about the other components as long as what we have is stable.
If you have a stable relationship with your parents, you can go to school or work knowing that what you have is stable. It’s certain.
But when you have a zipper that doesn’t close when it should, you lack this hierarchical stability. Rather than focusing on your ride back home or how well you performed during your interview, you start worrying about your relationship. An unstable relationship. You’re neck-deep in uncertainty.
It’s seen in evolution.
Evolution cannot happen if the hierarchical relationships are unstable. Stability creates the bedrock for emergence and complexity.
A helium nucleus and another cannot create a merger without temporary stability. After two steps, it graduates into a carbon molecule. It’s called the triple-alpha process.
Helium particles are also known as alpha particles. You only need three of them to form carbon. Although the first merger may not be as stable, it creates the lever for the next process. It then moves from an atomic number of 2 to 6. In short, from helium to carbon.
Carbon is the element used to identify the presence of life. It’s the basis of organic chemistry. But how did these elements merge?
I argue in my theory that particles are organisms. Atoms are organisms. Electrons are organisms. When they merge, they form emergent organisms. The criteria for what I consider an organism can be found in this article.
All organisms seek mergers.
You included.
You cannot exist without genes. Genes had to merge to form genomes. You are the product of genome-enzyme-environment interaction.
Genomes would not have the chance to explore their ability to evolve into higher levels of complexity if hierarchical relationships did not exist. Hierarchies are indispensable in evolution.
They are present from small subatomic particles to colossal black holes.
Consider sickness.
The role of the kidneys serve the body by cleaning bodily waste. The role of the body serve the kidneys by taking meals to supply it with nutrition.
Thus, the role of the body serves the kidney while the role of the kidney serves the body. It’s a stable relationship.
The body — that is, you — can then go to work, party, and snitch in peace without worrying about the functions of the kidney. The same goes for the kidney. It can just focus on filtering and playing with electrolytes.
Hierarchies reduce the need to keep track of information from its components.
Now imagine something happens to the kidney. It becomes unstable. You can no longer focus on your snitching. You focus on the relationship between you and the kidney.
You move from certainty to uncertainty.
From the certain belief of having a closed zipper to an uncertain feeling of an open one.
You won’t stop until you stabilize it. Diabetic patients will continue getting diabetic medication. Hypertensive patients will continue taking antihypertensives. And my sister will continue checking to confirm her fly is closed.
I emphasize this point in my book. Evolution from an organismal view.
It stresses the importance of mergers. Stable mergers, such as stable hierarchical relationships.
If I am assured of the security of my country, I can go to work the following day. The role of the country in assuring me of security serves me. I can then earn an income, pay my taxes, and go back home in the evening, or morning, depending on my shift.
Thus, the role of the country serves me and my role serves the country. It’s a stable hierarchical relationship.
But if tribes collide, say because of an election outcome, I am not assured of this security. I’ll then spend more time concerned about this stability. I’d rather secure myself. Such a hierarchical relationship is unstable.
Neither serves the other. Instability ensues. States stagnate.
I can continue typing on this document because I am fairly certain about the work of the computer. The application has been serving me very well.
My role serves the application, because it can continue being advanced and produced and replicated in other future devices.
The app serves me in showcasing the result of my keyboard punches every time I construct a sentence.
My role serves the app and the app serves me. A stable hierarchical relationship.
I can then consider using various styles of presentation or even explore the image for this post. I don’t have to worry so much about the mechanism of how the app works or how my fingers move.
The components forming this relationship are therefore free to evolve into higher levels of complexity.
In the absence of stable hierarchies, there can be no evolution into higher levels of complexity.
As I close…
The gene for skin colour would not have developed if it did not have a stable relationship with the gene responsible for hair growth.
If you’re certain about the relationship you have with any entity, you can explore other aspects of your life.
We seek stability because it allows us to explore and advance.
Reason? The song says it:
’Cause I love it more than anything
It has to be. Since it allows us to explore. What is life without exploration? Life itself developed because of exploration.
Who would have thought there’s so much to zippers besides one-night stands and embarrassing moments?
PS: In less than a week, I got an additional 10 new subscribers. As long as they are alright, I’ll be alright. You too can subscribe to get a free weekly dose of 4 curated links that’ll edge you toward extreme value. Just so you know, it’s the lightest newsletter on the Internet.
