Three Ways to be Authentic in Your Grief or Pain
And why you need to stop saying that you’re okay.
The days get crossed off in my mind like some people cross off a date on a calendar. February 11th, the day two of my dogs passed away many years apart, April 18th — when a brother-in-law took his life on his birthday, June 15th — the day my mom died of ovarian cancer when I was 32, September 15th — the day my dad died of lung cancer when I was 27.
And then there is June 28th. This day is the hardest. It’s the day my sister/soulmate was killed in a domestic violence incident by her estranged husband.
If it seems that these all piled on in quick succession, they didn’t. It doesn’t mean that grief can’t ebb and flow through the course of your life like water on a beach. How we move forward through the loss is how the loved ones live on in us.
Each year, when I look at the days going by on the calendar, I take a moment to think of happy thoughts regarding each loved one. I remember that by being authentic in my grief, I am serving both the memory of the person who passed and the people who survive them. And the countless people we help every day with our witness to lives lived. Honoring the dead makes me feel alive.
