To the writer who doesn’t write
How writing like a romance author can bring your mojo back
I have an alter ego.
Let’s call her Mary.
Full disclosure: Mary’s actually the official us. She has the writing diplomas, the professional website, her picture on LinkedIn and her name on our letterbox.
Mary’s been trying to become a freelance writer for years, but it never worked.
Sure, she managed a few pieces for clients here and there, but those projects were incredibly hard for her to complete. She toiled over them for days, sometimes even weeks. It was excruciating work, like pushing a boulder up a muddy hill. In the rain. Blindfolded.
The deadlines kept her in her chair but she wrote under duress.
Her clients loved the results, she hated the experience. Not quite the idyllic “sip your coffee on the deck and easily write a few thousand words while the foliage turns red and wild geese fly above in a bright blue sky” morning routine she had envisioned when she started on that path.
Don’t get me wrong, she loves writing, she’s good at it and she wants to make it as a professional writer.
But there’s one tiny problem: she doesn’t write.
She knows she should build her portfolio, write posts on social media, start a blog, grow her mailing list and send a regular newsletter. But she can’t seem to make it happen. She procrastinates, justifies and finds excuses. I mean, it is almost time for dinner and the laundry is piling up.
On the odd chance that she wants to write, she needs complete silence, absolutely no interruptions, a cup of tea that never gets cold and well… you get the idea.
Sometimes, she’ll get high-speed downloads from the Muse, whole articles or novel outlines appearing in her mind. But that only seems to happen when she’s in the shower or elbow deep in dirty dishes. And when she sits to write those ideas? Crickets.
The funny thing is, I know Mary is just making excuses. After all, I am her.
We live in the same house, stare at the same laundry pile and face the same interruptions. Yet, I wrote 30060 words in April.
Which immediately gives us 2 crucial pieces of information.
First, we can write. (Phew!)
Second, Mary should take some intel from the romance writer, because that woman is doing just fine.
So here goes. To the writer who doesn’t write and is willing to try a new approach.
Take off your pants
Don’t get excited. I write romance, not erotica.
What I mean by that is: Quit being a pantser.
As a reminder, pantsers are novel writers who fly by the seat of their… yes, pants. As opposed to plotters, who outline their whole story before starting their first draft, pantsers just open their laptops, write and see where it takes them. While that worked pretty well for some famous authors (Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, Diana Gabaldon, etc), most of us would benefit from having an outline before we sit down to write.
I’m an obsessive plotter but it took me a while to realize that Mary was pantsing her way through her writing. Which explained a lot of her struggles.
When you write without an outline, whether you’re working on a novel, blog post, Medium story or a college paper, you’re more likely to run into trouble.
Here are the most frequent pitfalls:
Writer’s block: To paraphrase The Cheshire Cat, which way to go with your writing depends a good deal on where you want to get to. When you have no direction you’re more likely to stare blankly at your screen, hoping for inspiration.
Going astray: Since you don’t have a roadmap, once you start writing you risk going off the road completely and ending up somewhere you never meant to go. It can work, but it might not.
Losing time and /or ideas: Remember those strikes of inspiration you have in the shower (It’s a thing, don’t feel weird)? If you don’t write them down and integrate them into your outline, they could disappear forever. Is it worth the hours lost searching your brain for that plot twist, or, like me, giving up on the letter that gave its name to chapter three because you can’t remember what was in the envelope?
Write a damn outline!
Pick a Fake identity
Stop putting so much pressure on yourself!
It can be terrifying to publish something under your real name.
What if it’s controversial and you get some backlash? What if it’s rubbish and people ridicule you? What if your boss or colleagues use your writing against you? What about your reputation? What if people think it’s dumb?
We get it.
Novelists have long picked pen names to write anonymously. A few famous examples are George Orwell, Cassandra Clare, Lewis Carroll, Voltaire and George Sand.
Romance writers are even more prone to using a pseudonym.
Most of us aren’t ready for public shaming at church, being shunned by our neighbours or scolded by our grandmothers because we write sex scenes, bondage, ménage à trois, shapeshifters or gasp! same-sex love stories (How those disapproving people hear about smut books is always an interesting question…).
Give yourself a break.
Even Agatha Christie and J.K. Rowling changed their names to write in a different genres. This gave them some room to experiment without the crushing pressure to hit gold again.
I believe in my skills as a writer but maybe I’m delusional.
I could make a complete fool of myself with my first novel. Ouch, but then what? Nobody knows who I am. Mary can go about her business while I mope around for a couple of days. Then, when I’m ready to try again, I’ll pick a new identity.
Although, I really dig my current name so, fingers crossed.
Have some fun
You’re a creative person. Creativity is intelligence having fun.
If you insist on writing out of obligation, on a subject that you feel you should cover, you probably won’t write.
Look at Mary.
She tries to write about serious issues. She feels like she owes it to the planet. It’s as if she needs to pay rent to the Earth by enlightening people about the benefits of organic farming, healthy lifestyles and bird conservancy. With so much (self-imposed) pressure, she can’t type a hundred words to save her life.
So, have more fun.
Sure, there will be times for serious topics, academic writing or boring projects. Sometimes you just need to pay the bills, right?
But when you’re stuck in a rut and can’t get past your fear of the blank page, you need to lighten up.
Pick a recreational project and run with it.
Do you think we write cheesy/steamy romances out of obligation?
Ah! No.
Write poetry, fanfictions, song lyrics, a rant about your team’s latest loss, a bedtime story for your toddler or a short cookbook about lemon recipes. Whatever sounds good to you.
Just have some fun.
TL;DR: Outline, hide and play
So if you’re a writer who doesn’t write, borrow some strategies from romance authors.
Organize your ideas before you start, hide behind a pen name and, above all, have more fun.
Maybe you’ll end up with a side hustle publishing kids’ stories or Sherlock Holmes spin-offs. Maybe you’ll keep your draft in a hidden folder on your computer, or maybe you’ll start a culinary blog professing your love of citrus. It doesn’t really matter.
Just write.
Get your word count moving because that’s all you need to do to be a writer who writes.
