Too Many Choices Make Us Miserable and More Dissatisfied With Life

Photo by Alban Martel on Unsplash

Barry Schwartz¹ invented the term “The Paradox of Choice” and it affects us in different ways:

• 1st effect, with so many options, people find it very difficult to choose at all and get paralyzed. In 2000, psychologists Sheena Iyengar and Mark Lepper² did an experiment: a grocery store alternated allowing customers to sample 24 different flavors of jam & 6 different flavors of jam. With 24, more people came to the table but, people were far less likely to purchase a jar of jam than in the case of the smaller display (about ten times less).
• 2nd effect is that, even if we manage to overcome the paralysis and make a choice, we end up less satisfied with the result of the choice. You imagine that you could’ve made a different choice that would’ve been better. And what happens is, this imagined alternative causes you to regret the decision you made, and this regret lowers the satisfaction you get out of the decision you made, even if it was a good decision. The more options you encounter, the less fulfilling your ultimate outcome will be.
• 3rd effect: escalation of expectations. With these many options, people’s standards get so high, and then when they have to explain this choice they make to themselves, they think they’re at fault. They blame themself for not selecting the “better” one. And with high expectations, it’s no longer possible for you to experience pleasant surprises.

We spend hours selecting the food to order. Hours to select a movie to watch. And online dating apps/social media made it impossible to find a partner that we are happy with. A better one might be out there. What is out there that I am missing out on? Nobody’s good enough and you’re always worried you’re missing out. We live in a constant state of FOMO and it is getting worse.

What can we do?

• According to Barry Schwartz, the secret to happiness is low expectations. There is no perfect thing or perfect one. So do not expect one.
• Pay less attention to others’ life.
• Be grateful for what you have. It is easier said than done though. It takes practice.
• Learn to make non-fatal or reversible decisions as quickly as possible³. Set a time limit or some kind of restraint while making simple decisions. E.g buy the toilet paper with the most reviews. Choose which movie you are going to watch in 3 minutes.
• Don’t postpone decisions. Don’t leave those decisions hanging, they create a burden on you. Make those decisions even they are uncomfortable
• “Whole Body Yes” for bigger decisions⁴. Do your mind, heart and gut say yes to a decision? if any of the three say no, it is a no. Check if you have any doubts in you before making a bigger decision.

What I am listening to right now: Izïa - La Vague

References:

[1] The paradox of choice by Barry Schwartz

[2] When Choice is Demotivating: Can One Desire Too Much of a Good Thing?

[3] The Choice-Minimal Lifestyle: 6 Formulas for More Output and Less Overwhelm

[4] When to Trust Your Intuition: Frameworks and Tools | Tim Ferriss