Toxic Parents, A Deep Study:
I remember the time I was working in a Drug Rehabilitation and the majority of patients (addicts) would keep complaining (even cursing) about their parents. In response, the therapist would start lecturing them about how the intentions of every parent are always the best for their children, even if it seems bad to children. The therapist would use every type of argument just to blame the patient and would never hear their arguments. What was the end result? In one-on-sessions, the patient wouldn’t open up; they would lie and use every type of defence to deceive you and never show their true selves.
According to Greeks, God didn’t have to be caring, just, wise, or anything else; despite that, they had to be worshipped. That’s what most toxic parents think of themselves: to be heard and obeyed despite how they treated you. The toxic relationship you share with them in one thing, and how it shapes you for the future is an important aspect.
There is a book named “Toxic Parents” by “Dr. Susan Forward”.
The book talks about many different types of toxic parents, such as inadequate, controlling, alcoholic, verbally abusive, physically abusive, and sexually abusive parents. The book is written after having sessions with Western clients and there is a difference between how they and our family work. The dynamics might be different, but the way they shape a person are same. It might affect the way you perceive or feel about life around you. But it doesn’t mean you should not be held responsible for how you conduct your practical life. No doubt that everything that you experience in life doesn’t affect you but, one person goes through a traumatic experience in one way, and another in a different way. So everyone can use their past experiences as an excuse to behave in a certain way if they want to.
The book also provides good insights into the parent-child relationship, but one should be careful while reading it. Your mind ends up projecting all the wrong things you did wrong or your limitations onto your parents because most self-proclaimed victims would do that. It is a good read for professionals because of the practical cases they deal with, but the cultural aspects should be taken into consideration.
