“Side Chick” No More
The true story of how I stopped settling and left the jerk, even though I still loved him
Desperately in love with someone who my friends said didn’t deserve me, I felt stuck. I was long past knowing I should get out, but how could I? I still loved him.
Truth be told, I was obsessed with him. He was the perfect guy I’d wanted to find for so long. Smart, ambitious, but most of all, tall, dark, and handsome — and an amazing lover. When he smiled, my heart lit up. I couldn’t believe he loved me, too. I was gloriously happy…until he didn’t love me enough to choose me.
We split up and made up countless times; it seemed we just couldn’t live without each other. With an addictive personality (and the substance abuse history to prove it), I knew I was hopelessly hooked, but I didn’t know how to get free. This was worse than any drink, any drug. No matter how miserable I got, after a few days, I’d need a fix and come back for more on any terms.
He was in my head 24/7. Unless I was distracted, I longed for him every minute of every day. When the movie ended, when the party was over, there he was in my consciousness, waiting for me. And the torture would resume.
It finally occurred to me I could manufacture a break-up so awful that the two of us would never…
