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True Love Requires Tremendous Inner Strength

It’s a false perception that love is for the weak

Photo by Porapak Apichodilok:

Love is our innate nature. It is only when sheaths of fear cover this love that a person is unable to love others. Only when a person does a tremendous amount of inner work and gets rid of all major fears can he truly love in a steady manner.

Common perceptions

Let’s examine a few common perceptions related to love:

  • Love is between a man and a woman: Most definitions of love are restricted to mere infatuation between a man and a woman.
  • There is no love: This thought form is also circulating in a society where people say that there is only a need that gives rise to love. If the need is removed then there won’t be any love.
  • Love is for the weak: Many people consider love is for women and children. Strong men do not need love.

Debunking common perceptions

The common perceptions mentioned above are in fact a result of a dysfunctional society. Let’s debunk each perception:

  • Love need not be restricted between a man and a woman. Romantic love is not a form of pure love. Pure love can exist between any two individuals of any age group. In pure love, you want the best for the other individual whether they stay with you or not. In romantic love, the foremost requirement is that the other person should not leave you. Romantic love also instills jealousy and hatred if anyone does leave. True love does not follow this pattern.
  • The people who believe that there is no love are actually working from a lower center of consciousness. When the physical and emotional needs of a person are derived from others then it is difficult to have pure love. Pure love comes when a person has tremendous inner strength and does not depend upon others to fulfilling his needs.
  • Love is actually not for the weak but for the strong people. Here strong does not mean physically strong but mentally. A person who is devoid of any fear will have true love flowing profusely. It is only when a person has some form of fear in his psyche that he would be closed to showering pure love on others.

How do you love unconditionally?

Fear, guilt, and poor self-image are major obstacles to having true love for others. One needs a lot of inner work to get rid of these obstacles. Catharsis and refinement of the inner child are two techniques that a person can employ for this purpose.

Example: Ram is unable to have pure love towards others. He is romantically involved with Sara and has jealousy and hatred toward her whenever she talks to other men. Ram was suggested by his friends to go for catharsis and refinement of the inner child to remove the obstacles to pure love.

Upon doing catharsis Ram removed all emotional charges associated with fearful incidents from his past. One such incident was when he was reprimanded for watching a sensual scene on television. There were several other incidents where Ram felt insecure and fearful concerning his attraction to the opposite sex. Ram removed the emotional charges associated with all major incidents and then brought to mind his inner child. He found that his inner child lacked a positive self-image. With the evolved understanding of life that Ram has now, he instilled a positive self-image in his inner child.

After the above process, Ram became internally a very strong person. He was not dependent upon others to fulfill his desires. His relationship with Sara changed from crude love to pure love. Now he doesn’t get any feelings of jealousy when Sara talks to other men. He just wants Sara to be happy.


True love is rare and is reserved only for a select few who have got tremendous inner strength. Most of the forms of love portrayed by media and society are in fact not true love. A person seeking to have true love towards other need to apply the process of catharsis and refinement of the inner child to get rid of fears, insecurity, guilt, and poor self-image. Only then the person can transform into having pure love towards others. Remember it is only in a pure love relationship that there is no insecurity and the person is in a state of absolute bliss. Good luck to you in traversing this path and becoming your ideal self who loves in a pure manner.



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Utpal Kumar

Utpal Kumar

Interested in the psychology behind human functioning. I write on a variety of topics with most of them dealing with personal development | MS in CS from UCSD