Member-only story
Insecure in Your Masculinity? Don’t Worry, There’s Special Water For That
Finally, water and soap even men can use!
Hey bud, you doing okay? You feeling a little… insecure?
What’s that you say? Reusable bottles aren’t MANLY? You want to reduce your plastic usage, but in a way that won’t make your dick fall off?
Sounds like you need water so hardcore, you could drown a baby in it.
CAPITALISM TO THE RESCUE. Liquid Death will murder your thirst! There’s nothing we can’t gender. Water-drinking may be a necessity, but there are ways for you to do it WRONG, turns out.
And do you know what other water-using activity has been making you look like a total pansy?
Showering
Soap is for girls. Has been this whole time. If a woman smells even one hint of something flowery on you, she’ll instantly suspect you have a low sperm count.
It’s well-known that women want a man who reminds them of their father and smells of naval diplomacy. Get yourself a BIG ASS BRICK of soap that will remind the ladies who’s in charge.
