VICTORY To The People!
…what’s in a name?
“I don’t mind if my skull ends up on a shelf as long as it’s got my name on it.” Debbie Harry
“I never want to put my name on something that I don’t love or wouldn’t wear myself.” Hailey Baldwin
“The name Nicole does rock though!” Nicole Dyer
I am a woman of color. I have a white neighbor who mistakenly got a hold of a piece of my mail. My first name is Tanisha (African and Indian roots), but my middle name is Nicole. I have been using my middle name since childhood. Actually, I would switch names every other year or so. Tanisha or Nicole or my nickname, Nikki. As I got older, the novelty of changing my name wore off and somewhere along the way I stuck with Nicole. People would have a hard time pronouncing Ta-nee-sha, but Nicole was simple. Once while attending a resume writing workshop the facilitator said, “If I can’t pronounce your name, I’m not going to call you for an interview. And neither will most HR personnel.”
Okay, Nicole it is.
Come to find out it was also a technique to weed out certain cultures of people in order to discriminate. Not only was Tanisha difficult for people to pronounce but it was also used against me as a divisive tool — feeding into the idiocy of racism.
Oh boy, when my neighbor found out that my first name was actually Tanisha and not Nicole, they put on this weirdo , ignorant show telling my partner (whom I live with) that I was going by an alias. And then they proceeded to call me Tanisha instead of Nicole, following me around and videotaping me with their phone saying things like, “You know all about illegal acts, don’t you?” Good grief! People are so strange.
- And yes, I have called the police, it’s a civil matter.
And what low life intention! Unfortunately for them, I don’t have any issues with being called Tanisha. But the fact that they would try to use my name as a racist tactic is idiocy. I was shocked at just how juvenile they were…and then there was George Floyd (the latest in a historically unjust system of brutality). People justifying his murder because he committed some illegal acts. So he deserved to be murdered? It’s like I’m in middle school all over again, hanging out with a bunch of kids trying to find their way in life.
Do people not see themselves? Sadly, no. Just like I didn’t see myself when I intentionally used my middle name on my resumes rather than my first name based on some guys prompting to “white” myself in order to get called for an interview. Would I really want to work for a company that based the pronunciation of a name as a deal breaker? And who was this guy facilitating the workshop anyway? Who knows, maybe he was overlooked for a position because his name was not “diverse” enough and companies were looking to beef up their diversity ratios with some Tanisha’s, hehehehe.
I do still use my middle name instead of my first name. But it has nothing to do with whether or not someone can pronounce Tanisha, I’m happy to take you through the enunciation. And, it has nothing to do with a resume. I haven’t needed one of those in years. It’s because I did some research and found out the name Nicole means VICTORY, or in Greek, VICTORY TO THE PEOPLE! Wow!
The subject of my name came up in conversation with someone recently while I was sharing this weird ordeal of dealing with my idiot neighbor. I will call this person Leroy. Leroy automatically assumed that I did not use my first name in order to navigate white America with more ease.
When I tried to explain that, “No, the name Nicole rocks! Did you know that it means victorious?”
Well, Leroy was not impressed and told me that it was perfectly okay to feel the stigma of racism, that he felt it as well and would sometimes give people a different name in order to feel included by warding off the ridiculing of his name.
Wait! What?
“No, no, no, you don’t understand. I have been using the name Nicole on and off my whole life. My nickname is Nikki and people would actually just assume that my first name was Nicole.”
“Listen, I have a friend who legally changed her name because she did not want to be associated with a stereotypical black name. It helps her to navigate her professional life in such a way that she feels more confident. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
<sigh> It was pretty obvious that Leroy was not hearing me. So caught up in his own story and his own dilemma of navigating his life. Just like my neighbor. The name Nicole does rock though!
