Vulnerability is Strength
Being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak. It makes you more real, more genuine, more you.
It took my teenage years to learn not to show my feelings, to keep my problems to myself, not to burden anyone with the tempest inside me. It took my adulthood to learn to show my feelings, share my problems and rely on the people who offer their helping hand.
I used to see vulnerability as a sign of weakness. You just shouldn’t let it show when you’re hurt because then people will see you as weak. You shouldn’t complain about anything because there are those struggling with something a lot worse than what you’re going through. Strong women can do it all on their own… Boy, was I wrong.
I refer to women here, but this topic is not for women only. It applies to all human beings, no matter how you decide to declare yourself.
In one of my articles last year, I wrote about the power of love. This year, I wrote about vulnerability because I’ve been reading and listening to a lot about this topic over the past several weeks. Maybe this whole pandemic situation we’re experiencing is just emphasizing the need to talk about emotions, but maybe it’s just as good a time as any to talk about how being vulnerable strengthens you.
In her TED Talk The Power of Vulnerability, Brené Brown shares her research on connection, belonging, and vulnerability. She founds that people who have a sense of worthiness (she calls them the whole-hearted people) have several things in common, one of them being vulnerability. They are more inclined to open up, be their authentic selves, not who they are expected to be but who they truly are. They see vulnerability as fundamental in having any human connection. They just embrace this life of not knowing what you’ll get back for being your true self.
I know that vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love. — Brené Brown
In her MasterClass, Robin Roberts talks about how she was reporting on a hurricane story that hit her hometown and just lost it in front of the camera when her co-hosts asked her how her family was doing and whether they were safe. She thought she was going to get fired for sure because she just started crying on national TV while being filmed live. The exact opposite happened. People embraced her for it because she understood what they were going through. She also says that because of this event, she could share her struggle with cancer later on.
It is hard to embrace vulnerability, at least it was for me… still is, but I’m trying really hard not to numb it, not to ignore it. Saying “I love you” first is hard, asking for help is hard, allowing tears to fall when you talk about your emotions is hard, it’s embarrassing but it is necessary and it’s OK.
Now, some people may reject you for it. Some may even make fun of it, but some will bring you in and even open up, too. In order to form true and genuine connections in life, we need to embrace vulnerability. We have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen, as Brené would say it. I know it’s a long and hard journey, at least for some of us, but it is so worth it because by being vulnerable, you’re showing your true self, you’re embracing yourself as you are: right and wrong, strong and weak, happy and sad. You will learn to love yourself more and enable others to do the same. Just try it; otherwise, you’ll never know. And if you do, let me know how it goes.
