Want to Test Your Level of Contentment? Go For a Drive
Driving. Some of us love it, some of us hate it. Some of us find it unwinding, some of us find it stressful.
And some of us get downright frustrated.
We have all been there. The driver in front of you hits the breaks at the roundabout when there is absolutely no car coming, leaving you to slam on your breaks. It shocks you. Your heart’s now racing, relieved that you’ve not hit them in the back but you’re feeling shaky and flustered. And it’s through no fault of your own, it’s someone else’s fault.
There are now two choices; thumping your hand down on the horn, letting that person know that you’re not happy, or, taking a deep breath, and letting them go, acknowledging they’re human.
Which one do you choose?
I have a confession, I used to choose the angry option a LOT. I would even shout something at the windscreen to let out my frustration. Let’s be honest, they couldn’t hear me, but I still went ahead and did it anyway.
But, did that really make me feel better? Yes, admittedly, for those two seconds.
As my journey effortlessly continued once the ‘drama’ was over and I was left alone with a cheerful Madonna hit on the radio, I thought maybe, just maybe, I over reacted a little bit. Did they deserve the prolonged horn thump? Did they deserve my scolding face, hand waving and muted shouting in their mirror? Would I really do that if I wasn’t in the car and someone stepped out on the pavement in front of me?
Have you ever been there?
These are the questions I’d ask myself as I’d continue driving, and before long I would start getting a pang of guilt for that driver, wondering if really that was worth it.
I guess it showed that I had some sort of conscience back then in my twenty something brain, but why was I so angry at these people? Why did it seem to happen every time I drove?
There’s much more to it than we realise
When you break it down, driving is behaviour. You can learn a lot about yourself through it. It involves perception and emotion to operate a car. Both of which can be distorted. It is also time when you are truly alone with your thoughts. And depending on your thoughts at that time, are you always content behind the wheel?
Have you ever spent your alone time in the car worrying about things and feeling stressed? Throw in a delay in getting to your destination, and this can unlock even more emotions. So, you could say, we’re sometimes not in the greatest mindset whilst driving from A to B.
For me, and many others I can imagine, I seemed to see a pattern emerging. When I was having a good day, I was forgiving of these people. When it wasn’t, I was letting it all of my anger out on them. Now, I for one don’t think this is very fair.
What I was actually doing was projecting all my own negative emotions on these people. I am happy to admit that back then, I didn’t have the knowledge or awareness of the world that I do now, which in turn made me quite self-absorbed, unsettled, and tense. I decided I didn’t like those parts of me anymore.
I had to work on myself. And I did.
Seeing the affect your happiness has on others can be very fulfilling
In conjunction with becoming happier in myself, I decided to change the way I was behind the wheel, and no doubt whilst reading this you will think that I’m completely nuts; but hear me out.
I decided to drive with a permanent smile on my face, to see if it helped with my mood.
Have you ever smiled, even when you weren’t exactly happy? Something happens.
Your face relaxes, you chill out, and you feel a glint of happiness. (And maybe feel like a complete moron) But seriously, we don’t realise just how much we are frowning when concentrating, and that a smile relaxes the face, which in turn relaxes you.
When I did this, first of all it changed my mood, which was great, but then it seemed to affect other people. Those who would give me ‘right of way’ began to change their frowns to smiles when I drove past them. Some looked a bit shocked and confused, but I’d say 80% reacted with a happy, genuine smile. Those who pulled out mistakenly, clearly worried about my reaction, were greeted with a smile from me, which in turn left them with a massive sense of relief on their face. It made me feel good.
There would be the odd occasion where I’d be tested however, where someone seemed to do something very carelessly, or overtake me in a dangerous manner, but, by letting go, and not giving in to the temptation of reacting, it felt freeing. I realised I’d let go of the person I once was.
This was more than just being forgiving behind the wheel, it was a test about life and patience.
It was a test about tolerance with others. About imperfections, and how not being happy ourselves it can affect how we react to others.
And I try to adopt this every time I make a journey now. It may look a bit weird, but I guess I’d rather be weird and happy than normal and angry.
Next time you’re driving a car, see what mood you’re in when someone:
- Makes a mistake
- Doesn’t say “Thankyou”
- Is downright careless
One, two three. I will admit, the third one is the hardest one to crack. But when you flash a huge smile at someone who cuts you up, it’s more satisfying than you’ll ever know.
