Plea to romanticize true friendship stories, here’s why
It is high time we stop sufficing friendships as backstage support for frontstage characters
It is astonishing to observe that friendship is one of the most underrated relationships in the world.
I was in conversation with my uncle who is nearly 65 years of age.
And he chose to share about his best friend — who offended him over something petty. Hahaha, cute!
At that moment, something clicked in me and I couldn’t resist to know more, so I asked —
- Why do you call him your best friend?
- And what is your friendship story?!
By the end of his narration;
I had a hard realization that my generation is far from even recognizing the value of a true friendship & the potential it holds to change lives for good.
Let alone being a good friend, themselves!
It reflected how friendship as a relationship is at the fence of extinction.
It is so unappreciated, undervalued as a relationship.
The probable reason could be that it is not idealized by the film industry, anywhere.
I think we need a recap of friendships like:
Joey & Chandler in Friends. Jane, Kat & Sutton in Bold Girls. Sanju & Kamli in Sanju. Andi & Ellis in Shawshank Redemption.
There are endless examples.
However, why am I sharing this?
To help you realize the SCARIER part.
We are living in a world, where there is no clear distinction to understand who is your true friend and who is not.
I come from a generation which is chasing quantity of mere acquaintances.
That too, to have a social standing for Instagram.
This is very sad to acknowledge 😞
I am not saying that we are a bunch of bad people.
But I do feel that we are distant from our core values and true desires.
Other reasons, to help you recognize and appreciate the value of a good friendship are —
We have stopped putting in the real effort, to become better friends.
I have a deep belief that it starts with YOU, if you are looking for true friendships then you have to be a good friend first.
As simple as it could get — input before output.
Or maybe, we have been told a lie that we don’t need friends.
We can survive alone. Friends distract us. Nobody is a friend.
I can’t write enough, contradicting all of this.
This could be a separate blog 😺
We are so consumed in our own lives that we hardly have any time to pay attention to people around us.
Something even sad to be aware of is, we don’t feel the need to step out of our situation and have another perspective.
In such a case, how could we expect someone to appreciate the value of a true friend?
No shocker, that most of us have friendships at surface level.
And the worst part?
We are calling surface-level things ‘deep friendships’.
We are doing it our convenience basis and that too for the society (to be specific — ‘for the gram’)
I have so many thoughts on this point. But, I will stick to the basic.
Like the rule of nature, it all starts with a seed. Apt seed to be sowed to see the fruition of something worthwhile.
For us — Humans, that seed is Intent.
When the intent is as petty as;
a give-and-take relationship, for Instagram or for convenience, or maybe for status quo — this list can go on.
How on earth can we complain about not having true friendships?!
We are just chasing quantity of people to form an image of a ‘social circle’ and the people we are chasing, are doing the same 😞
We are a bunch of meek people because we are afraid to have hard conversations.
I stand strong with an understanding that any deep, concrete relationship cannot surpass the test of vulnerability.
The way I see it is — rupture and nurture.
I have ample of examples where I have seen people running away from hard conversations like:
- the difference of opinions
- the disagreements
- the insecurities
- the underlying anxiousness
While we are running away from these emotions, in a way we are running away from parts of us.
So, when someone is not true to him/herself how could they be true to a friend?
AND
If they are not true, how could they form something sustainable and long-lasting?
Do you see the pattern? — If I have to be utmost honest then I would acknowledge :
We are failing to be our own friends. We are the loneliest of all generations. We are lost in a crowd and we are unable to recognize ourselves.
Unfortunately, this seems like a loop.
The funny part, anyone who is not a part of this loop is actually without people in his/her life.
Personally, in a whole mob of acquaintances even I have just 1–2 close friends who are like my family.
Sadly, we are all losing a lot of friends and questioning ourselves for that.
I don’t think anyone is a culprit in any way, in this case.
It is just that we are all figuring things out, growing, outgrowing each other.
And that is Okay!
But, you know the good part? — together we can change this.
By being true to ourselves and setting mindful intentions as seeds, out there!
Remember the mention of a conversation with my uncle, earlier?
Sharing the crux of his friendship story with you —
- he has just one friend whom he calls his BEST Friend
- he met him after 30 years of age
- they have a lot of arguments and mockery but they stick together and never leave each other’s side, come what may!
- they have had it all — offering shoulders to lean on, wiping off tears, weeks gone fighting and without talking, cribbing and complaining about each other, etc.
- in this world of constant change, some things remained intact — they have been together for 35+ years, growing old with each other, arranged & attended marriages of their children
- they really LOVE each other and make a conscious effort to choose their friendship, every day.
Beautiful right? ❤
That is the power of this relationship — Friendship.
This is exactly why — we need to idealize, romanticize and showcase true friendship stories.
And also because — wouldn’t you agree that every beautiful relationship starts with deep friendship?
Also, you don’t need a horde of friends. One true friend is worth a million friends.
I fathom true friendships are rare but not impossible.
Who knows, maybe you will meet your best friend tomorrow.
But, be sure to be a good friend first 😊
“The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
With love, TS ❤
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