What does sisterhood mean to you?
A journey of finding my sister
Sisterhood - the word itself describes the bond between two sisters.
Although the word is very common among women, I believe the real meaning of 'sisterhood' isn’t something that can be explained, but felt.
Sisterhood through friendships :
I have always found that female friendships lack strength to some extent.
It’s quite difficult to find women who support each other without any hint of jealousy.
I did have some close friend girls in my childhood, but they were a lot of drama.
Gossips and bitching always used to come along with them. It's almost like buy one get one free.
Funniest part is that, even women who seem to be best friends with each other, are often found bitching against each other behind their back.
I had my fare share of unimaginably good friend girls in my school days that still gives me trauma.
In short, that's basically how I lost all my faith in female friendships.
However my faith all of a sudden started getting restored when almost a couple of years back when I joined my last organisation.
I have mentioned these things previously in my blogs. Interestingly, even after one year of those writings, I find it quite strange about the fact that particularly the one person I started considering as my own , is in fact closer to my heart now.
I have written about her so many times , but I would love to repeat the same a thousand times again. Because some people actually turn out to be not just "glittery" but "golden by heart too".
I always wanted to have an elder sister of my own. Not younger, someone elder, but I couldn't explain why.
Asking for an elder sister :
That probably came to my mind because of the bond I saw between my mom and her elder sister (my aunt). They never had any kind of jealousy among them, always wished the best for each other. Till date, they are mostly like best friends. Even if they can’t see each other once in a year, then also both of them will have the exact same attachment.
But yes, my childish mind even wished for an elder brother too. With time and maturity, I realised younger sisters are usually more matured and responsible than elder brothers.
So eventually, I struck out that wish in my mind. Finally I made up my mind that I wanted an elder sister. That was the final decision.
I told my mom the same thing quite a few times, and every single time she would say that it’s practically impossible.
A few years later, when I was 16Â , God sprinkled some wish fulfilling pixie dusts over me, but not in my way. My uncle was blessed with a baby girl. So now I have a sister, but a young one.
She is a kid now , not an in fact anymore of course! She is definitely a sweetheart but my wish was still unfulfilled.
Now, fast-forwarding to a few years later, when I had firmly started believing the fact that no one can be a real well wisher from a corporate office , God had to prove me wrong.
As they say, the best things always happen in life unexpectedly. That's exactly what had happened.
The first meeting:
I met Myra at the last organization where I worked. She was supposed to be our trainer for the batch I joined.
I particularly remember she was wearing a white shirt with black polka dots that was paired with black loose fit jeans which seemed like trousers but were not. She had long open hair with layers and bangs over her forehead.
She was wearing black ballerinas and had black specs which all over made her look chic and beautiful.
However, very soon a senior manager was assigned to train us because the client needed us to join sooner. Which means less training and more on job hardships for us.
Because of the fact that she wasn't my trainer or because I somehow started talking to her more, I don't know! I used to always call her Didi
(elder sister).
Then one day I went through a very traumatic incident while coming back from office. It was our office cab driver, who straight away hit a stray dog - hammering through its skull. None of the passengers were hurt but because of rash driving, the poor stray was about to bleed to death. Also, that drive flew away immediately from that location, leaving us looking for help!
We tried really hard , but he took his last breath with next 3-4 hours. All of the so called "dog lovers" were way too busy to take care of a poor death-bedded stray dog that day.
It was one and only Myra , who stayed there with me. She was on call with me the whole time assisting me to contact the para vet.
Not a single person was even available to talk. I was traumatized. Severely traumatized. Not because of the horrific scene. but because an innocent soul was hurt brutally due someone’s carelessness. That little one didn’t deserve what happened to him that day. I am again getting my eyes teary remembering that incident.
I know, you might be wondering how is all that relevant to "sisterhood".
It is relevant! Because the whole time that day, I couldn’t cry. I was furious with rage and wanted to take action against the careless, heartless, humanity less - can driver. I couldn’t cry a single time.
But the moment I met her next day at office, I couldn’t hold my tears anymore. I hugged her from side way and shed my tears.
That was all I needed at that point. Isn’t that exactly what we want from somebody when we consider them our own? A reliable shoulder to lean on, to cry on - an well wisher with whom you can talk from heart to heart.
Although, that day I didn’t realise it. As an over experienced candidate at choosing fake friends, I had almost stopped trusting people.
The approval :
People are strange you know! People love to hear things that are sugar coated. People love to hear unrealistic promises rather than seeing their promises practically being fulfilled.
I don't like all those complications. So either good or bad , I often tend to either spit out or behave exactly the way I want them to be treated. If I don't like you or you did something I didn't like, I tell that to your face and going forward you don't exist for me. No pretending, no sugar coating , I just exist in my own mind palace.
Coming back to the sisterhood factors again, I always stayed transparent with her about everything and vice versa. She even stays nearby my house . That’s why even after changing organisations our frequency of texts and calls increased even more.
Slowly we got to know each other’s families. In fact I remember telling my long term boyfriend that " she liked you" - as if she has approved of you.
I have known him for many years , and at this point , me telling this- he only gave me a vacant look !
Finding out the real meaning of sisterhood :
There have been instances when I stopped going out of the house. I kept over thinking all the time and thought only working hard matters - which was slowly consuming all my joy and happiness to live in the present.
It was her , who one day made me sit and hear all of my worries and troubles. Another friend who happened to be there that day, upon hearing all my troubles probably got scared or something, I don’t know! She stopped staying frequently in touch after that day.
Now thinking the whole thing makes me laugh really hard. Because only the two of us knew that I was overthinking.
I was worrying almost up to an unrealistic extent and Myra being the elder one and being a happy -go-lucky kind of person herself, clearly understood that it was just because of staying inside the house for a long time I was behaving and thinking that way.
After a loud cry and big hugs that day, I became normal the very next day.
The other friend, ironically, was someone whom I also considered like a sister, to some extent. Not as important as Myra, but as I said - up to some extent, because practically she was older than me.
That was the day I guess, I got the perfect results of my litmus test. Yes, I call it a litmus test every time I trust somebody enough to share about my traumas and worries. Only few have passed the test till now.
It was on the same day that I got two different results of my litmus test.
One was red and the other was Blue 💙
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