What Happens When You Look at Someone?
See the essence of a person, not the physical form
I am not this hair
I am not this skin
I am the soul that lives within
-Rumi
When we encounter someone, our brain sorts the person into a group- a beautiful woman, rude looking man, my friend Joey or a family member.
In reality, the mind summarises and rationalizes tons of information into one entity- a human one for sure but one which makes it easier for us to make judgements faster.
Why?
This process is fast. Quite efficient too. During early evolution, quick classification helped our ancestors to sort enemies and friends quickly.
Contrarily, such quick classification has some issues too. It gives importance to the exterior surface features of the person’s body, such as- age, sex, looks or role the person plays. Leading to objectification, instead of appreciating their humanity.
In other words, the mind deludes us into thinking the person is not a dynamic but a static entity, devoid of feelings.
This whole categorization is a slippery slope.
Overturning the situation, what’s it like for you when you see the other person has sorted you into a similar fixed category?
I personally don’t like it. So of course, it’s a two-way street. Logical to say if we don’t like it when it’s done to us, then we shouldn’t do it to other people too.
See the essence of a person, not the physical form.
Easier said than done.
How?
When you encounter or speak with someone, instead of concluding based on what their body looks like or start to categorize the person, try the below:
- Be aware of the many roles they may play outside of your life: a father, a mother, uncle, retired, cancer survivor, blood donor, etc.
- Try to relate to the many feelings and reactions spinning around in the mind of the other person. Understanding the intricacy of your mind, try to imagine their flow of consciousness.
- Feel and tune into the sense of things landing on you and then take into account how these thoughts and feeling about the person are influencing your conclusion about the person. Be aware of this sorting process. Then, flip sides, and explore how the other person would be doing the same thing, how he could be similarly categorizing you.
The above practice may feel too abstract and subjective. Good, because it is meant to feel so. By applying it regularly, sooner or later you will develop a relationship with this system and will make it your own.
Try. It’s time we go deeper and see the essence in people.
