What I Learned After a Year of Writing on Medium
And what’s next.
When I was first started writing on this platform, I was terrified for others to hear my voice.
My old blog had just failed like the ones before it. I felt so insecure, exhausted, and guarded. Every time I would open up a document and rest my fingers on the keys, the words in my throat threatened to choke me if I typed a single one of them.
I was sure that I would never write again. No, I was certain until I stared at a blank draft on Medium.
I don’t know how I got there, but for some reason, there I was writing with fear’s cold, wet grip, digging into my soul.
I wrote about the fear that held me so tightly along with the hopes that contrasted it. I thought I would give up with each and every article I wrote. I thought I would run away when the mouse would hover above that green ‘publish’ button, but I always managed to click it anyway.
The early days of writing on this platform allowed me to see that fear could be beaten.
Before, I thought the emotion was this sickly, paralyzing substance that would freeze my entire existence until I submitted to it. With Medium, I learned that the powerful force was weak, and often lost, to time and consistency.
This allowed for my mind to be open to learn new lessons in the following weeks.
If you saw me when I first started, you would have seen a resilient soul trapped in a timid girl’s body. My strength was hidden, but was always flickering through.
With each one of my one-hundred twenty-one articles, I grew more confident. When I got my first $1.96, it upped my confidence. When I got accepted into my first few publications, it upped my confidence.
One might misunderstand these milestones as “giving” me confidence, but it only chipped away at my weak casting to reveal the self-assured person I was all along.
This allowed me to realize what I was capable of and gave me the courage to go after it.
Before Medium, there were several projects I ran into the dirt. That fear I mentioned earlier would come out of the wood work, grip me, and have me running for the hills.
Working through that fear on Medium not only helped me get over my fear of writing, but allowed me to start other things like TikTok, podcasting, and creating a newsletter.
These were things I would have never done if I hadn’t taken my first step here.
One might ask why, if you learned all these lessons, would you decide to take a step back and head into another direction?
To be honest, this is one of those situations where you have to assess an array of different avenues and decide what’s best.
Looking at the factors of growth amongst a great deal of others, I decided to maneuver in a way that is best for the future.
Despite having zero romantic experiences, this is what I imagine a break up would feel like. I have nothing but love for this platform, and I would encourage everyone to give Medium a go.
Look what it did for me.
Still, I think it is time for me to turn into that old friend that visits from time to time.
I am keeping up all of my articles for everyone to read. I enjoyed every second of writing them, but my heart is telling me to pivot.
Who knows? Maybe this trope could be the right person, but wrong time.
The Next Step
With each step in a new direction, there is bound to be doubt riddled in your first few. I am not indifferent to this, but with the lessons that this platform has taught me, I am moving forward anyway.
I am by no means giving up on writing. Absolutely not!
Alongside my Medium articles, I would also write on Substack, a newsletter/blogging platform. I plan to focus on my And We Continued Newsletter and its adjacent And We Continued Podcast.
I am putting my whole chest and soul into these, and I would love to see you there.
Before I let you go, I want you to listen to me when I say this.
It is okay to pivot. It is okay to feel the range of the emotions you feel when you are about to leap. The path isn’t always clear, but you have to trust and move forward.
That’s what I am going to do because I have to and I am willing.
Let’s see where this goes.
Sincerely,
Your Author Bayinnah
