What I Learned From Reading 200 Self-Improvement Books In 2 Years

Other than I might need some more hobbies.

Photo by Susan Q Yin on Unsplash

I have always been a big reader. My mom has even pointed out that I would carry around a book with me when I was little child. For as long as I can remember I have been reading. Some of my earliest memories came from following Frodo, Harry, and the Baudelaire siblings through their own adventures.

Not just reading for leisure entertainment either. My introduction into growth and self-development goes back to junior high school. When I wanted to learn how to have more confidence as a “sensitive” boy navigating the journey of adolescence.

Two years ago, I got even more serious about my reading habits. I learned Jim Kwik’s speeding reading technique through a Mindvalley subscription so I could utilize more of my time and take in even more books.

I was unhappy and looking for different perspectives, techniques, and habits to pull me out of my nihilistic worldview that crept in after a very severe ego death and subsequent dark night of the soul period. I read from every topic you can imagine.

Philosophy, psychology, spirituality, finance, social connection, relationships, mental and emotional well-being, diet, exercise, and every other topic under the umbrella known as “self-help.”

Don’t Forget to Live

All the reading that I have done over the past two years opened my eyes to the need to apply what I was learning. Otherwise, it is just a cute idea in a book. This might sound obvious, but for someone who has lived his life in between the covers of someone else’s story, this was groundbreaking.

Eventually you have to put the book down, and start living.

Much in the same way we can listen to inspirational or motivational talks, but we can’t rely on them for our source of action.

We have to be the source of action.

It is our choices that matter more than any abilities we posses. Whether it is starting a business, eating better, becoming aware of mental stories, working through trauma, meeting new people, writing a book, or any other wisdom that a book offers.

None of it matters unless we CHOOSE to put our energy into it. The work is in the choice. Deciding to show up is the most powerful thing we can do as human beings that want to grow and evolve.

I was faced with a very serious question that popped up during my exploration

Do I want to FEEL better, or do I want to BE better?

Now sometimes these go hand in hand, but there is often a subtle distinction between them. I had to REALLY ask if I wanted to read what I was reading to change, or did I just want to feel better without doing anything other than reading.

The work is in the choice. Before we actually want to be somewhere else we have to decide that we want to be somewhere else.

Reading is Not Passive

I have always had a “good” memory. I can read something and usually remember the points and takeaways. I am also writing in the margins, highlighting things that stand out, taking my own notes in a pocket journal I keep on me, and teaching others what I learn in some way.

It is not like the movie The Matrix where you simply download the information. In order to actually move the data from the book into your mind there has to be some sort of effort.

A lot of self-development books will have exercises or journaling prompts throughout the book. I used to glance over them, and tell myself I will return to them later. It wasn’t until I started to DO them that change started to occur.

So, after I have faced the brutal honesty of whether I want to change, or just feel better. I decided that I will use my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy, for change.

WHATEVER. IT. TAKES.

I started journaling prompts, meeting my inner child and shadow side.

I created morning routines and nightly routines.

I practiced networking with potential business clients.

I practiced facing rejection and sitting with it without numbing the feeling.

I took cold showers.

I created a healthy diet and followed it.

I removed toxic habits from my life.

I got up at 5am every day.

I spoke to myself in the mirror.

I made difficult decisions to cut out friends and limit time with family.

I’ve moved across the country (several times).

I’ve left jobs that no longer served.

I ended relationships that weren’t healthy.

I practiced falling in love with the discomfort.

The change isn’t about the end goal. It is the whole process. Living in this space made reading an active activity. The books became a way of life. They weren’t just some cute words on a page to skim through once and add to the bookshelf. They had a life of their own, and I built a relationship with each and every one of them.

The Most Powerful Question in the World

So, I made the choice to change. I acted on my decisions. But I noticed at times I would fall back into old ways of being. Old habits started to compromise the progress I was making. I asked, why?

Not why are my habits not sticking, and old unconscious habits resurfacing. I asked what’s the point of all this change?

Knowing why we do something is the greatest catalyst to shine awareness on our own shadows that sometimes remain hidden decades.

Why we do something is one of the strongest agreements, we make with existence.

Viktor Frankl was a Holocaust survivor who wrote about his experience in the concentration camps. He noticed those that had a why would keep going, whereas the ones that had no why fell into nihilism, and soon died after giving up.

I’m reminded of a quote by the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche

“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.”

I had to discover what my why was for each and every book before I started a relationship with it. The habits and wisdom that actually stuck came from developing a strong why. Whereas the ones that didn’t last fell away because I had no clear why.

The action comes from making a choice, but if I didn’t know why I wanted or needed to make the choice, it didn’t matter.

A Formula for Lasting Growth

I cannot promise you anything. I can’t sell you on the idea that if you follow this formula all your hopes and dreams will come true. You will become more financially successful, attract your partner, or have better health.

The true power, the guru, the teacher, the master; it’s within you

YOU have to discover what your why is.

YOU have to choose to make the change.

YOU have to take action for the change.

Books, teachers, shamans, gurus, masters, experts, podcasts, videos, etc.

They are there to point to the true source of your power. To help you bring out your innate ability to realize it’s you.

It’s always been you. It’s your why, your choice, and your action.