What I Learned in Addiction Therapy
I’m not a listicle sort of writer, but I suppose a list would be best fit for an article like this.
I know, I know, in Alcoholic Anonymous, they sing the mantra of the oh so infamous, yet practical (well debatable), 12 steps recovery process.
I’ll confess, that did not work for me. I struggle not only with alcohol and drugs, but also a myriad of other mental illnesses. It’s tough trying to balance recovery, with depression and anorexia.
#1 Recovery is not linear
To begin, it is imperative to note that recover is NOT linear. You will find yourself relapsing, and that’s okay. Do not hate yourself for it and think that since you’ve already fucked it all up, might as well spiral all the way down back to rock bottom, hey?
That’s a toxic mindset one needs to let go off. It’s tough, I know. A personal anecdote would be having just an apple, and thinking that I’ve messed up my entire day of fasting (or who are we kidding, starving), hence going into a full-blown catastrophic day of binge eating. The remorse sets in, and the self-harm starts. A never ending cycle.
The bottom line is that, even if we take 2 steps back, there’s always a way to find ourselves 3 steps forward again. That, is growth. A small growth nonetheless, but something you and I should be proud of.
#2 Breaking the Cycle
Why do we rely so heavily on substances? All our answers will vary from person to person. One might want to numb the pain, the other might just want to escape from reality. I personally am already voided of emotions from all the anti-depressants and benzodiazepines that I do not need that solace from numbness. So why am I so reliant on alcohol and prescription drugs on a daily basis? This leads on to my next point — Introspection.
#3 Introspection
It’s tough. Looking into the mirror for most people is a hard enough thing to do without any self-criticism — but looking into oneself, now that’s a feat. Lying to others might be hard (well, not for all, I’m looking at you pathological liars) but lying to yourself is pretty much the easiest thing to do in the world.
Find the catalyst, then if you’re ready, search for the root cause. Once you’ve plucked out the roots and have found your way out of the labyrinth of suffering, is when recovery from addiction gets easier. I’m not saying it’s a failsafe, as we all know seeds grow back. But identifying the cause will help navigate your thoughts better. How you choose to proceed thereafter is on you.
Will you pick up another bottle of liquor and down a couple of codeine, or will you recognize the problem and opt for a healthier coping mechanism?
#4 Finding Healthier Coping Mechanisms
Yeah, I know. Easier said than done. We could read. We could write. We could game. Mental illness does not work that way. Sometimes all we want to do is lie in bed and just get high.
I found my comfort in martial arts, particularly Brazilian Jujitsu. I work a 9–5 job, and you will never fail to see me at the gym after work everyday. Why do I choose to do it despite being so burnt out from work already? Simple answer: because if I don’t, all I’ll do when I get home is beers on beers on beers.
Find something you enjoy. There has to be one thing. Hell, it could even be sex. Anything to get away from the bottle.
Love, G
