What I think about my parents’ aging experience.

When aging knocks at the door…

Wow! It’s been long. I just checked my previous posts and then realized that it has been more than a month since I last posted anything here…I was really shocked by that!

Anyway, I have been dancing with Geriatric Medicine for the past three weeks and I must say that it has helped me to better understand some of the biologic and behavioural changes that I have been seeing in my parents nowadays. I can’t believe my parents are on their way to looking like the stereotypical grandparents fully gray-haired, looking much less like the young couple I grew up with…but I really hope they take longer than expected to get there.

Funny enough, I know they would definitely not stay the same forever but somehow, it still feels like an abstract concept when I think about my parents going through the changes associated with aging. A lot of things came to mind during the geriatrics module and I would like to share three of them.

How would they look like?

I’ve always had my classmates, from my primary school days till now, admire my mom’s beauty and youthful looks and some have even gone to the extent of commenting that she looks younger than I! She has a great sense of style and had lots of energy to expend on her business, kids and every other thing she deems to be important _ this is the mother I’ve always known. But somehow, in the last couple of years, I realized that she took more breaks in a year than she used to. She was one who would rarely think of taking a break from work. Her customers usually said that nothing could ever separate her from her business and money. She was always like the new machine that works twice as hard as the old ones and never gets tired.

I’ve also noticed that waking up as early as 4am has become a little harder. Though she is able to do that occasionally, it is no longer a routine unlike before.

Even her walking has slightly changed. Her brisk and nimble steps have become quite slower and lack the same amount of energy they used to radiate. She has begun to complain about progressive tiredness and the feeling of her body slowing down as a sign of aging. She once confessed that she feels she is growing older and so, that has made her gracefully accept the changes she is experiencing nowadays. Whereas I, on the other hand, am refusing to accept this reality.

I need to treat them better.

So far, I have been a kind of child to my parents who has respect for their opinions and wishes…well, that’s not always the case. After all, I too have been an adolescent before and sometimes I experience a bit of power struggle with respect to control over my life since I’m an adult who is yet to leave the nest. Not only that, my mom can be very controlling and unable to accept anything apart from her will, sometimes. Notwithstanding, I really feel indebted to my parents for the many sacrifices they have made for me, so much that I try to sacrifice my happiness for theirs too…they very much deserve that!

Now that they are getting older by the day (it has alwyas been happening, just that it is more apparent now than before), I feel the need to be more concerned about their health, happiness, and creating good memories with them. I want to make them feel loved and appreciated for the wonderful parents they have been, and still are.

My mom turned 50 this year. So, you think I still have so much more time? Indeed, I do agree with you, but as they say ‘if not now, then when’?

They deserve a much better and cozier life now.

As I mentioned earlier, my folks have sacrificed a lot, to give my sisters and I a proper upbringing, good education and the best of everything and anything they can afford to make life comfortable for us…and they still do it to this day.

I can’t wait to relieve them of their load so that they can rest and enjoy the fruits of their labour. It is dream to put golden spoons in their mouths long before they leave this earth. I long for them to enjoy everything they had to miss out on or put on hold in order to put food in our mouths. I want to give them the best of life that they have never dreamt of.

It is one of the things that spurs me on to work hard.

In summary, I hate the fact that my parents, especially my mom, are experiencing the physical changes associated with aging since it’s all new to me and I obviously didn’t think that my parents would look like grandpa and grandma one day. Somehow, prior to the geriatrics module, I must admit that I didn’t really consider aging as the reason for my mom’s complaints…what the heck was I thinking?

Signed, Richeal.