Why you should get out of your comfort zone and try new things
A friend of mine told me this story. He was good at sports. He had chosen ping-pong and he was good at it. Then, at nineteen, he accidentally discovered he had a natural talent for pole vaulting.
He could run, propel himself upwards with a pole, and jump over a horizontal crossbar 17 feet above the ground — a rare talent, I’d say. Unfortunately, he was too old to become a competitive pole vaulter by the time he realized this.
When I first heard this story, I was sorry for him. If only he realized sooner.
Most of us are like my friend. We are above average at ping-pong and go for it. Then we become adept at hitting the ball, but we may feel like something is missing. It’s like marrying someone who ticks all the boxes, but when you look at him, you feel like 80%.
It is convenient to play ping-pong forever once you become good at it. Life seems effortless. You don’t make a lot of mistakes, and there isn’t much challenge or risk of being ridiculed.
Compared to ping-pong, pole vaulting is demanding. Very few people have a knack for it. You shiver at the idea of being upside down in the air. Someone asks you whether you would you like to try it out and you respond “I would prefer not to” like Bartleby in Herman Melville’s book.
“I would prefer not to make any change,” Bartleby says.
But maybe, just maybe, this very scary thing is your thing.
Life has a funny way of asking us to try new things for size, but most of the time we say “No”.
What if this is an opportunity?
My pole vault
Here’s a personal story.
A few weeks ago, I got a call from the public relations department of my publisher. They asked me to conduct an open discussion with a world-renowned Spanish author of self-help books.
I was sweating at the idea as I listened to it. Discussion? In a theater? With simultaneous translation?
I avoid exposure. I have done a couple of presentations for my book and that’s it. What if I don’t understand the translation, lose my words, say something stupid, or get ridiculed?
This reminded me of the old Seinfeld joke. I’d rather be in the coffin than be the one to give the eulogy.
But then I thought of my pole-vaulting friend and said a hesitant and half-hearted “Yes”.
It took me a good long while to prepare interesting questions. As I was rehearsing, scary thoughts crept into my mind.
To diffuse them, I tried the Thich Nhat Hanh trick. I projected myself a hundred years from now. By that time, I’m dead and no one remembers me or this discussion. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Lose my words or my train of thought. That’s why I have the script. It’s my life vest.
I tried to focus on the good things I would gain from the discussion.
I would get to read six exciting books, meet the author, see my publisher, and have a sumptuous dinner after the event with the team.
The big day arrives. There is this terrible storm. I enter the amphitheater. The writer is a friendly and intelligent guy — a rare treasure. We have a lively discussion. I have the time of my life. I forget to ask the audience if they have questions because I didn’t include it in my script. This is a mistake, but it’s ok.
After the presentation, the famous author asks me whether I am a journalist. Well, no, I am not. You are a natural, he says, Oprah Winfrey material. I laugh at the compliment. He is just trying to be polite.
But to be honest, I had a pretty good time. I didn’t get intimated by the bright lights, the stage, or hearing my terrible voice through speaker phones. I even came up with questions on the spot.
Could public speaking be my thing?
People say that we have this inner instinct. That we know things intuitively. It’s true. But with time, our intuition gets clouded. We rationalize things and try to stay safe. We are more fearful and less excited.
So, we don’t try new things or get outside our comfort zone.
I read about the mechanics of pole vaulting.
The athlete has to sprint at full speed carrying a 15-foot-long pole, bend and plant it in a hole. He must then launch his body upwards, do a handstand on top of the pole, pass over the crossbar, and land on a foam mat.
And yet a person can have a natural talent for this.
Next time someone asks you to try something weird, don’t just say “no”. Say you’ll think about it.
What if pole vaulting is your thing?
