What Is Like Having An Old Soul In A Modern World?
Living in your own mind and having an insatiable curiosity for life
You are a free spirit, sometimes over-sensitive and taking things too seriously. You see the world differently than most people. Your ideas and your views are of a person who had lived hundreds of years, if not more. You are wise beyond your years. You are harder on yourself than on anyone else. You have worlds inside your head, places you long to belong.
‘It must be more than this to life’
You think to yourself, and you are right. You are destined for greater things. But most of your peers don’t get it. Truly get it. They don’t feel the disappointment in the bones like you do. You feel too much. But you know that too, and most importantly, you know how to put those heavy loads down. You can breathe life in with such appreciation that an inhale alone pleases you. You take in the pleasure of living.
1. You long for real deep connection
Not having interests in the superficial doesn’t mean you cannot have fun or indulge in vanity once in a while. Your deep longing is for people. Realness in people, in the connection that becomes a bond. You search this Earth for someone who would sing your song. And you play your music every chance you get, hoping someone will recognise it. You want someone who sees you as you are, accepts you as you come and brave enough to dance with you in the rain.
You long for accepting your demons also, perhaps. That one day you can release the chained dragon in the dark cellar of your castle, let it roam over your city, blowing fire happily out of its mouth.
You love looking at the eyes of children like the universe is hiding all its secrets and answers behind that innocence. You are at awe when they focus on you, smile at you, hold your hand. And here it is! A glimpse of true connection right here! Babies don’t lie!
Love, ah love. You would live and die for a lover. But you’re not a love-struck forever-stuck-teenager, nor a sacrificing giving saint. Or just blind and irresponsible. Your love is a gift, and you take it back once the person on the receiving end doesn’t deserve it anymore. Your love is not to be used or abused. It kills you every time. But you do what is right. You strive to do right and stick to what is.
I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.
― Dr. Brené Brown
2. You long for freedom, too
As much as you long to belong, you crave freedom, too. Freedom to decide to do things your way. Freedom to speak your mind. Freedom to take up space. Freedom to be you, warts and all. Freedom to try and fail. Freedom to learn how to be your best self, accepted, allowed to be different.
We are all very contained, we have social rules and how are we expected to behave. It keeps things in place and you play by the rules. But you want more. You want to move. You want to dance. You want to be spontaneous. You long for freedom with a place to return to. Like a bird roaming but knowing where its nest is. You long to soak up the celestial wind of this world and let it wash over you.
You dream of a world, where everyone is free. Free of pain, free of hate, free of the veil of unawareness. You want to bring Heaven down to Earth and give everyone the forgiveness they pray for.
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
― Mahatma Gandhi
3. You look for answers about the meaning of it all
Why are you here? Why do you do things the way you do? What are you supposed to take from this? How do you grow? What happened next?
Questions that sometimes give you pain rather than some answers. But you cannot hold back. Circling in your mind and laying in the undercurrent, you ponder and speculate about the Universe, life after death, karma. Big questions. Those are more than just passive thoughts, you look for answers. You want the truth. You prefer the truth than the dolled up deception. You see pass unauthenticity and fake attempts. Appearances don’t fool you easily, money and power don’t impress you if the people holding those values are not authentic. You have learned to listen to your gut and most of the time, you were right. The thing you value most is honesty and growth. You don’t look at what people had failed, but you look at how they fix themselves and become better despite failing. You look for potentials.
You look for the good. In people and things.
You see the bigger picture and sometimes words fail you. You strive to move forward. You embrace hardship, loneliness, detachment. You strive for calmness and balance. You look for signs and take one step at the time in the dark. You have inexplicable hope. You feel lost quite often and then breathe out in relief with the dawning of epiphany.
Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
4. Kindness and unconditional love move you
You wonder if you have been born into the right era. You are a drop of mountain dew caught up in the web of modernity. Swiping culture, immediate gratification and cheap distraction exhaust you. You are looking at them and try to find the deeper meaning of it all (as you do). You cultivate yourself. You turn your sight away from cheap pleasures — drugs, drinks, one-night-stands, partying, watching Netflix as the only way to rewind. You bravely look for consolation inwards and in your close circle of ‘your people’. You are not afraid of emotions.
You don’t run away from problems and it surprised you that many people do. It is like putting a plaster over a bullet wound. You are astounded that people don’t want to treat their wounds. Or want to heal it, or even acknowledge that it was even there. They ignore it and wait for it to be better on its own. ‘Later’ — they lie to themself, caught up in their web of plans. You are dumbfounded, ‘It would then be too late’ — but you cannot wake a person who is pretending to sleep. You try to accept them, give them kindness and unconditional support, hoping they would tend to their bleeding. Most of the time, it doesn’t happen and you end up very disappointed.
This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.
― Dalai Lama
Imagine witnessing the true unconditional love of the mother to her child. You see a mother again and again lovingly kissing the face of her impaired child. It brings warmth to your heart and brightens up the whole planet. That love, that pure love is healing for everyone. You look at the connection of life. Beyond your circle of friends, your city, the country you were born and the country you’re living, beyond your race. You see the invisible connection that tied us all together–if it is not kindness and unconditional acceptance, it is gonna be a tough ride for us all.
5. You have an insurmountable appreciation for life
You breathe in the smell of the soil after rain. You notice the difference in the air, the change of the breeze. You are elated about seeing new growth from your old plant. You revel in every bite of that ice-cream, humming along with the music. Music moves you. Poetry touches you. Movies challenge your perception. Arts open your imagination. You are revealed to all experiences of life. You welcome the gift of being human. You are not afraid of getting out of your comfort zone. It doesn’t mean you’re not scared, but you do it anyway. You fall headfirst and take life in with all its colourful glories. You don’t judge people by their colours or their backgrounds. You judge how far people had gone by the starting points and effort they put into the journey. You don’t have time for the superficial or the showing off. You enjoy the time you spend alone and the time you spend with others. You are careful not to take things for granted, and of course, sometimes you forget. But you forgive yourself for that anyway. And you learn again, and you grow again, and you love again.
Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
– Lao Tzu
We all have moments when the world is a burden on our soul. We feel our skin ageing and eyes wrinkling with time passing by. But the true age of our subconscious, the wisdom we carry with us through many lifetimes (if you choose to believe so) sustain us. We all have moments when we are truly connected with who we are. The essence of our overflowing the body, the thoughts, the pain and soothes our aching soul. And with great understanding comes great responsibilities, you are destined for greater things. Just living is not enough, you gotta grow!
